fourfiftyfour Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 I dated my ex for 1.5 years. We started off as best friends for the first 6 months. We never used to fight. We really had a connection. We have so much in common, more than I have ever had with another girl. However we didnt live together. I would stay the night 3 days a week and we would hang out on weekends. She told her friends that she would marry me. About 6 months into the relationship I became very sick and almost died in the hospital; she was there for me in ways I cant describe. I will always appreceate her for that. Something changed. The last couple months I started having trust issues and we faught about her having too many male friends. Neither of us would "bend". I think the final straw was this: I had her over at my friends house, they were drinking and having a good time. I was sober because of my health issuses, and you know what its like dealing with a sloppy drunk gf can be like when youre sober...frustrating! Later on that night she had disappeared for about 15 minutes, I found her outside charging her phone "texting" at 2am. I kinda snapped and make a rude comment and smacked her ass, and walked back inside before she could explain herself. Well the second I got inside the house I hear her car start and she rips off (alone), pissed drunk! Well I run after to stop her driving, but its too late. So I started calling her..no answer. 5 minutes later she calls me, saying she crashed her car and needs me. So I go get her. I didnt get mad, I was just happy nobody was hurt. She got caught and ilost her license 90 days, and had to pay $2000 in fine. I told her I feel 50% responsable for this and will do whatever I can to help her. She needs to egt her kids to school, and herseld to work. We also faught because we stopped going out for dates, doing fun things, part of that I will blame on my recovery from my illness but it was mainly being too comfortable. Well she warned me; and 2 months ago she broke up with me. What makes this so difficult is she has two kids who I love as my own and have become attached to them as they are to me. A week or two after we broke up she began dating. I went a little crazy because this hurt me so much. We text almost every day. A month after the break, she wanted to hang out, so I had her and the kids over for a movie. Was great, not awkward being the first time we met since the break. We all had fun. She told me several times that she had the best days of her life with me. A week later she wants to hang out again, she keeps saying "just friends". Well this time we went out with the kids and a couple of her friends. Had a great time. Lots of smiles. Well I made the first move, we made out when I dropped her off at her house that night. She basically told me I had to leave or she would sleep with me! So I left, pretty discouraged but happy with the fun day we spent together. Her best friend hates him! and wishes we were still together. The best friend even said I was the best BF she has had. She even tried convincing her to take me back. This guy shes dating now is driving her and her kids to school/work. A month in he is already moved in with her! They fight all the time. Everytime they fight she comes around texting me saying she misses me ect! Really frustrating and confusing! For the last 2 months were texting every day still, had pretty much made ammense about the issues we had in the realtioinship, she told me she will always love me and is not completely over me. Yesterday she said she wants me to meet her new bf! I said I would rather eat glass and told her im deleting her number. Yes I kinda lost it hearing that hes taking over as daddy. It really kills me inside going NC but I think its for the best because its too hard texting her all day, everyday. I doubt this relationship will last for her as they already fight all the time. Anyways forcing myself to go on new dates but still constantly think about her and the kids. What should I do? Suppringingly I still want her back. Thanks for reading my crazy story Link to comment
mcgoldrick Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 This is kinda normal. I am in this phase right now, where I do not want to leave someone, but I have to. And this is my first time dealing with such a thing, but believe me, things will get better. If she wanted you to meet her bf, maybe she wanted to know if you approve of him, since you didn't tell her you want to get back. Maybe she wants to get back with you. Ask her bestfriend to help you with this. Ask her to find out if she wants you as well, and if she does, its your choice. You can get back with her if you wish to. Link to comment
fourfiftyfour Posted February 7, 2013 Author Share Posted February 7, 2013 Thanks got the reply. Yes I forgot to mention she knows I want her back, and so does the new bf! Am I being immature by not wanting to meet him? Her friend said she's "confused". Well so am I! Why would she text me pictures of herself, smiling? I agree with her wanting approval of new BF, she sees me as her best friend still. I know I have made mistakes but would it be right to get back together with someone who seems to be playing games? Link to comment
fourfiftyfour Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 Should I go NC or be friendly? She really wants to stay friends...but I'm finding that hard.. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 The smartest move you can make is to completely disappear from her life. She's using you as her safety net, and will continue to as long as you allow it. You need to show her that you can stand up and respect yourself. That said, she'll either sink or swim, and there lies your answer. I'm amazed at how she could stoop so low in regards to asking you to meet her new boyfriend. Link to comment
fourfiftyfour Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 Ok so I guess I'm on the right track, I wish I would have done this when the break was fresh! You're right in me enabling her, I guess she has lost respect for me.? I'm always available for her. She texts me after fight and I'm there. She texts me every morning...I reply. Yes, I'm glad it's not just me who found that crazy to meet the the rebound. I stood my ground on not meeting him unless he has a problem with me. He added me on Facebook too!! Weird...I didn't accept. Link to comment
fourfiftyfour Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 So, if I did want her back the best way would be ignoring her? To gain back respect from her? Show her that i've moved on? Any more tips? Thanks! Link to comment
fourfiftyfour Posted February 11, 2013 Author Share Posted February 11, 2013 Bump...been nc for a few days... Link to comment
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