Breaking up after 4 years child involved

[AmarTduele]

Hi I'm new to this but I have always ready this threads... Any ways my girl friend and I just broke up about a month ago we where together for a lil over 4 years and we where really good in the begging she was 16 I was 19 everything was special we hardly ever argued so we dated eventually fell in love and had a baby boy he is 3 now.. Then things started going bad I know it's my fault I was going out with my friends and leaving her at home but I eventually wanted to chane because I still loved her i still do very much... In december of 2012 on the 29th her and I argued soo bad and she hit me so just reacted and hit her back which I regretted as soon a i did and my son was in the back seat and I broke her phone she left to her moms house and rr sister called the cops on and picked me up at my house like 3 hours later and I went to jail I was so sad everything just happened to fast and I have a restraining order with her and my son so I can't contact ether of them which really hurts me bad... When i got out of jail i did check her FB and she said she "where never getting back!" and i was devastated because i still love her and because we where a family with my son... So I was trying to let go and then other day happened to check her fB and she's already talking to another guy an hanging out which hurt me soooo bad I guess I had hoped that maybe one day we could have gotten together for our son. So now I'm so hurt and don't know what to do I constantly check her fb and i try not too its just hard how can she have gotten over me sooo fast.... when i still think of her everyday and she's already with another guy.. Where not friends on fb I just search her name...

[becomingkate]

Unfortunately, I think you two were too young when you had your son, and didn't really have a chance to do the things you should have been doing at that age. It's quite normal and natural to break up after 3 or 4 years because you change so much during that time.

 

I think it would be best if you concentrated on yourself and your son, and let her be. I know it's hard, but in order to be a good dad, you've got to turn your life around and be a good example to him - which means learning to communicate without fighting and violence. Wishing you all the best!

[matti]

I feel ya on this one as I too have a son and his mother and I broke up about 6 months after his birth (he's 7 now), which was very hard. It wasn't that I was just losing her, but my entire family.

 

I would just recommend that you give her the space she needs and focus on yourself and getting your son back. The rest will fall into place in due time.

 

As for the physical violence goes... I would definitely let that be a lesson as to everything that can and will happen if you allow yourself to stoop to that point. Over time she will most likely forgive you for it, but I can't say whether it'll be forgotten. Nor can I say that you two were meant to be.

 

Regardless, I wish you the best of luck!