What is going on with my sex life?

[Jake22]

Hi,

 

I am 21 and my sex life is crap!

I have been with my girl friend for just over one year, she was a virgin when we met, it took a few month before she was ready for sex (I didn't mind waiting) before we had sex I would go down on her, she seemed really embarrassed and didn't really want me to do that to her, she hated the idea of giving me a blow job (that sucked because I really love them)

She got to the stage she was ready and we had sex our relation ship went on for a few months, sex was ok tried giving me a b/j a few times but she wasn't so keen on it.

 

We moved in together 7 months after we got together, this is when the sex really went down hill, I spend a lot of time working get really tired and don't really have the urge to have sex anymore, I have turned her down so many times, even when she gives me a blow job I don't really enjoy it, I really don't want her to give me blow jobs (but why? Because I love them)

 

My last girl friend was great in bed and great and giving b/j, and when I think back I think dam I wish she (my ex) could give me one now, we used to get up to so much in bed, but when I think of doing all that with my girl friend I don't really want to, what's wrong with me? I used to love sex, used to want it all the time but now I don't want it at all.

 

Maybe I see her as a friend more than a lover?

 

Sorry for the mumbling

Jake

[nexus532]

you know ther is much more to relationships than sex. but if you are not happy with your sexual relations try new things in bed. if this doesn't work you could go to the doctor and order prescribed medicene to give you the energy you need. if all this happenes and your still not satisfied yes you should consider a new relationship because if you continue with a unhappy sex life it could lead to cheating on her which may cause emotional damage.

[RayKay]

People enjoy sex more when their partner ALSO enjoys it, and shows signs of enjoying! Sex is about communication, expression - when someone seems to only have sex as they "have to do it" and don't really enjoy pleasing their partner - it effects how that partner feels about the relationship and the sex as well.

 

It sounds like you are not physically satisfied/connected in this relationship, and it is not really surprising you don't really feel that interested in sex anymore. I think you got so used to being rejected (or at least not ENJOYED!) that you maybe have lost physical passion for her.

 

Obviously you have not lost interest in sex if you can fantasize about your ex. So, I REALLY don't think this is a problem with you, it is a symptom of a bigger problem in the relationship with your partner.

 

If you love your girlfriend, I think you should discuss this with her..for many (and most people I think!) being able to connect physically is just as important as emotional connection. Let her know how you feel, find out why she is not able to open up physically and have fun.

 

Things may get better, or they may not, and then you have to decide how important this aspect of the relationship is along with the others.

 

Good luck!