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Online interest gave me her number...just need some advice with contacting her


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So, I am 28 never really been in a relationship, and am extremely inexperienced when it comes to the physical side of things.


Those are two things I feel like hold me back quite a bit but I am trying my best to get over them but it's a bit hard.


I recently started chatting with someone I met on Match. We've emailed each other 2 or 3 times and it went well and my last one went unanswered for about a week. I figured it was over and just went on with things but to my surprise she emailed me yesterday noting how she's terrible at checking her mail on the site and gave me her number ending it with "hope to hear from you"


Obviously she's interested but I am not the best at initial conversations especially with texts since it's instantaneous. Given the two things I mentioned at the beginning I over think these things and worry about what to say or what to do.


I am a decent looking guy and I have my life together with a great job but relationships or meeting someone are a few things I down right stink at. Any advice on what I could do to keep things interesting with her and get it to an actual date would be much appreciated.

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Breaking the ice isn't all that hard. When you call her, talk to her like you would just about anyone. Ask her how her day was, if she says bad, ask why. Who knows you might be able to relate. In the end, push towards asking if she'd like to meet up for a drink, coffee, maybe dinner or lunch. You're both on Match, so clearly she wants to meet. I don't think there's really a wrong way of asking her if she would like to.


Something like: "you know I have Thursday off and have nothing to do, but I was hoping to try that restaurant on 42nd. Would you like to meet up then? Maybe around 7?"


You throw a date out, not something too soon. And if she's not available that day, if she really wants to meet she'll throw out a day that she is available.

Best of luck!

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You got her number (without asking for it)..that's a great sign - especially from a site like Match (kooks and weirdos abound)...


I wouldn't call her...I'd send her a nice text (which will also do the job of letting her know your number) and will serve to put "name to number" (as she may not answer if she didn't recognize your number.


Send something short..."Hi, it's (name) from Match. Hope all is well. Just wanted to say hi and let you my number as well...take care"


You don't need to "set-up" a phone call or go headstrong for the date. This opens the door to her texting you back and moving things off of Match and onto something more familiar.


A lot of women tell me about creeps and losers (from match sites) that cause them to put up some very high barriers to entry outside of the site. But even then you still have to play by the "safety rules", which are that she'll still probably want to see how you handle yourself (as a gentleman or a creep) via the phone. And that will start with a few texts....I find that if a woman is more interested she'll probably throw-out the "would you mind if I called you?"... She;d like to hear your voice (and I think make sure that your not some scumbag posing as someone else with a fake photo (it happens!).


But, you have to take it slow and it may take a month even before she can fit you into her schedule. Don't feel hurt or rejected if you don't get anything for weeks. It's just part of the process.

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What have you been discussing in your emails? Just keep the conversation along those lines. Realize also first chats on the phone are usually a bit tense for both people. She gave you her number. It's unlikely you will screw up if you just relax. Don't panic if there is some awkward silence. It's normal.


I wouldn't wait too long to call her. She gave you her number, you're expected to man up and call.

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