Hennie Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 Short version, my ex broke up with me in October after 2 yrs 5 mos. Tried being friends, but it hurt me just as much as the break up...she started dating another girl a couple weeks after dumping me. At the end of December I told her I couldn't handle being friends, she suggested NC for three months to see how it goes. NC hasn't gotten any easier for me and my feelings for her are still the same as the day I fell in love with her. Well, my little sister just had a baby on Wednesday and my ex sent me a congrats text on Thursday (she saw the pictures my sister posted on FB). When I saw the text from her I felt like throwing up, I wanted to cry, and my hands started shaking. I was at work so I had to hold it all in. Then she asked about a picture of her mom thats at my house - I told her I'd mail it to her. I didn't reply to her congrats text though, my sister said to just say thank you but I didn't and now I feel bad. I feel like texting her right now to say thank you because I don't want her to think I'm mad at her or that I don't love her or like her. I keep telling myself that she knows how I feel and understands it's not easy for me but I still feel guilty for not saying thank you. Anyway, just needed to vent. Link to comment
force Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 You made the right choice to not be friends, especially right after a breakup, and especially if she is already dating someone. Read psychology and the rebound relationship on this forum. I actually think you did good not texting her back. It's only been a month and you both decided on 3 mos. She is trying to see if your still on the hook. If you text her back it's going to make you look weak. Keep it up. She knows how you feel, trust me. She is not going to think you don't love her if you don't text her back. If anything she will think more of you if you keep being silent and probably second guess her decision to break up in time. Keep being strong! Link to comment
WilliamNova Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 The only way to move forward is to not look back. Link to comment
Hennie Posted February 3, 2013 Author Share Posted February 3, 2013 I'm trying to keep looking forward but it's not easy. And I wish I didn't feel guilty for not replying to her "congrats" text. I don't even know why I feel guilty about it. I was hoping she'd acknowledge the birth of my nephew but at the same time, her text to me hurt. Now I have to start NC all over again and it's so difficult. Link to comment
Hennie Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 I don't want to wake up tomorrow. Link to comment
engraved2008 Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Hangin there ! I think man are stronger when it comes to NC...my dumper chose not to be friends with me because I told him I fell in love with him too soon and he thought i was acting crezy....im still hurt.Its been a week since I got that ugly text from him. Link to comment
Hennie Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 Im hangin! Just using this thread to vent. You hang in there too!! Link to comment
TheOutsider1 Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 You made the right choice to not be friends, especially right after a breakup, and especially if she is already dating someone. Read psychology and the rebound relationship on this forum. I actually think you did good not texting her back. It's only been a month and you both decided on 3 mos. She is trying to see if your still on the hook. If you text her back it's going to make you look weak. Keep it up. She knows how you feel, trust me. She is not going to think you don't love her if you don't text her back. If anything she will think more of you if you keep being silent and probably second guess her decision to break up in time. Keep being strong! THIS. Exactly what force said. I'm telling you from experience because I am currently going through it. I'm a girl btw and I broke up with my ex because he was a liar and a cheater along with other good reasons. But I did get used to him begging me and now that he hasn't I think about him more, i also contacted him first because i hadn't heard from him. I didn't think he'd go through with leaving me alone for good but he's doing a very good job at it and it only makes me wonder why. Of course my situation is different because i was faithful and he should be the one begging, but he's not because he's most likely busy with other girls. But trust me, she is contacting you to see if you'll give in, i think she's starting to think about you, so DON'T reply. I think it's messed up that she left you for someone else. She should be feeling guilty NOT you, over something silly as not telling her thank you. She could've sent a message to your sister on FB telling her thank you herself...think about it. Also, I dedicate the song by Keith Urban-You'll think of me. watch the video on you tube or something. Hope it helps Link to comment
Tom1990 Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Your ex sounds like an understanding person. I'm sure she knows what you're going through. Keep it up. I wouldn't count this against your NC, or even keep trackat all. I recently shut out my ex and all mutual friends attached to her. I told one such friend I needed to redefine myself. He said "good luck with the redefining!" I said "see ya when I'm redefined!" I miss them all, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Link to comment
tryharder83 Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 yes Hennie, keep it up. you have to do what you have to.. for you! just keep that in mind. like what Tom1990, i also cut loose some mutual friends.. at first im overthinking it. i dont want to seem bitter and all. i used to think that they may say this and that because im so affected. truth is.. i am. it turns out that i cant tolerate anything i hear about my ex may it be good or bad. i just dont want to know anything. and now i felt better making that decision, cause eventually friends that cared reached out to me. Link to comment
Hennie Posted February 21, 2013 Author Share Posted February 21, 2013 Last night was a bit rough. I was sooooo tempted to text my ex and tell her how much I miss her and love her and wish that she hadn't given up on me. Link to comment
Try2bhappy Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 Understand exactly how you feel ... distract yourself - text someone else - talk to your families instead. Find the right support - texting her is not the answer and will only set you back. I ran into my ex after going NC for 13 days ... he left me with let's catch up sometimes. That day I deleted his number / all his text and everything that I have on my phone just to remove the temptation. Now it's been another 14 days and I hope this time it keeps going. NC really does help!!! Link to comment
Hennie Posted February 23, 2013 Author Share Posted February 23, 2013 Good luck to you!! I did exactly what you said, I text my sister and a couple friends. Didn't completely take the urge away but it helped. However, tonight it's the same temptation. I keep telling myself that if she wants to talk to me and/or ever misses me, she'll contact me - she was the dumper. Will that happen? Probably not since she was quick to replace me. Link to comment
Hennie Posted February 27, 2013 Author Share Posted February 27, 2013 Dear ___, I wish you hadn't given up on me or on us. I wish that you'd have helped me get through this - like you used to say you would. Like you used to say WE would. I'm not this way on purpose. Love Always, ______ ~~~~~~~~~ Just had to get that out so I wouldn't actually send it in a text or email. Link to comment
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