How I moved on - stop the war!

[lovebroken]

I broke up with him, wanted him back 8 months later because I never really forgot him and kept in contact with him (I just wanted him to show improvement), he didn't want me back because he wanted to be single, but obviously still has feelings for me, I felt like the dumpee for a month, but now I'm over it finally! (Read my previous threads to find out more information)

 

We were on and off for 4 years and I kept trying to hang on. The last serious break up before I broke up with him was because he liked someone else and he didn't love me anymore. After 4-5 months, we reconciled. Reconciliation lasted for a few months, and then I didn't want to try anymore because we were falling into a rut and there were a ton of insecurities (he lied to me and still saw the other girl behind my back although we were back together).

 

Today, I'm proud to say that I'm close to being completely over him, but I've definitely moved on (I'm catching up with him next week, so I can confirm this. I don't feel a need to text him, and his random texts to me don't bother me anymore nor make my heart flutter, I just see it as a normal friend texting me). But it was due to a lot of factors: trying out new activities, busy schedule, hanging out with friends, focusing on a new goal, a new love, feeling attractive

 

This song can motivate you to move on faster and stay strong with your NC!

Kelly Clarkson - The War is Over

 

Be the Strong one, be the one to stop the war! The war where you contact them, hoping they'll reply. Where they tell you they're over you, but continues to bother you with random texts and phone calls. Where silly mind games are still in effect. That's not true love, and that's not how mature love is supposed to be. Stop it by going NC (not because you want them to come chasing after you because you haven't responded to them. Do it because you want to find time to think and decide and be rid of him for even a little while) for even a little while to find clarity. You'll see how you truly feel about your ex! Trust me.

 

1) Trying out new activities: I tried out Yoga (meditation, learning to love yourself), I started to work out, do belly dancing, tried out kickboxing

2) Busy schedule: School started, I have work, I have lots of extracurricular things to worry about, it took my mind off of it, I also found a new job that I love.

3) Hanging out with friends: they kept telling me I was stupid, he's wrong for me, and they kept my mind off of him by having fun with me!

4) New goal I wanted to lose weight and eat healthy (new year's resolution): I've been cooking new healthy dishes, working out, and I've lost 10 pounds so far!

5) New love I never thought I could love someone again, but I think I discovered I can. This guy has been my friend and supporter for the past year. He's listened to all my worries and troubles and even was there for me during my break up a year ago. It turns out that he was in love with me since last Valentine's day. Finally, after I blocked my ex from my life, I was able to realize that he's the one for me (not because I need a rebound). I've talked to him almost every night for the past year, and it finally dawned on me that I should give this guy a chance. So far, my feelings for him have overshadowed any feelings I have left for my ex. For the past year, this guy has done so much for me, more than what my ex has ever done but I've failed to acknowledge it until now. It's only when I stopped thinking about my ex was I able to realize this.

6) Feeling attractive Because my ex was still around, I never really got a chance to try dating other men seriously. When I blocked him from my life, I finally noticed that there were guys out there who are finding me beautiful, caring, and everything they want. It makes me feel like my ex is the one who missed out, not me.

 

Today, I don't feel the need to listen to any sad break up songs or motivational music. I just like to listen to romantic love songs and hopeful songs. The new love is away for the time being, and the more he is away from my life, the more I realize that he's the one I truly need and he's the one who truly cares about me. When I think of my ex, I think about all the things he's done wrong and our first two years of history together is the only thing that is positive. When I compare them, I feel like this guy and best friend of mine is so much better. I used to go partying and drinking, just trying to forget my ex when he did something to upset me, but I don't feel a need to do this anymore.

 

It's great to know, that there is someone better out there and that you can move on, even if it takes a while for you to figure out.

 

I'm glad to say that he's the one who missed out, not me.

 

We broke up in March 2012. Stayed in contact until January 2013. I went NC for a month, and made all these realizations and accomplished so much. I know now that I just want to be friends with him. I know he'll still be special to me, but I don't see a future with him anymore.

 

YOU CAN TOO! All it takes is a moment of clarity without your ex being in your life. I should have started NC sooner rather than later!

[Isolation28]

I have that same feeling. Although I am more cautious when it comes to relationships, I have realized that the ex is nothing more than another person. I didn't do NC, I did LC but it is great to come back again after being so depressed. The new relationship you have sounds great, but you might want to be careful. I have high hopes for you and do not forget us on this site! That tends to happen to people who get over their ex or have managed to fix things with them!

[lovebroken]

Do not worry! I will not forget you guys! I'll use this thread to give updates about any special updates that's happening to the relationship aspect of my life.

 

Currently, the person I am in love with will be away until April. But I just miss him everyday. A part of the reason why I realize that he's special to me is partially due to the fact that he had to leave soon. We aren't in a relationship yet, because I am being extra cautious. Though I realize he's been there for me and loves me, I want to make sure that I can love him fully before I jump into into one. I don't want to hurt him because I care about him and want us to last. Nonetheless, he's a significant person in my life.

 

Sometimes, you don't realize how important someone is to you until they are about to leave and you can begin to imagine how their absence will begin to impact your life.

 

I firmly believe that there's someone who's always waiting for you and is already in your life. It's just that you were too wrapped up in your ex or a bad relationship to realize that they're there.

 

This person had the patience to wait for you for that long. This person might be there for you through all your ups and downs and you may have taken them for granted. This person will love you tenfold if you'll only give them a chance. This person will treasure you even when your ex throws you away because they realize your true worth.

 

Make sure you don't forget what and who's around you.

 

Don't lose sight of what's important to you.

[Isolation28]

Exactly. Sometimes the most suitable partner is the person you never even appreciate. My ex was very egocentric and she wanted praise and validation for everything she did. I am talking to other people at the moment but I am staying single for now so I could appreciate myself. LDR's are very hard but they are worth it when you get to see the person. I'll be here about every other week since I am busy with school but I am excited to see how your relationship turns out.