Tired on Confused, (Need some advice) Please

[Shadow415]

My story:

So I dated a girl for awhile she told me she loved me and that she saw me putting a ring on her finger. We broke up. I felt that the reasons were me (as she put it). Time goes by and I keep in touch with her thru some fights about some he said she said stuff. For the first 9 mo. I tired to reconcile w/ her by sending cards for holidays and a care package for our first date aniver. And lead me to confess my love to her. She responded by saying she had a BF (but i felt she waited because she liked the attention from the cards). 2 mo. past and she calls we go out for coffee a few times. I tell her I cant be friends because i still have strong feelings. She then invites to mass w/ her fam. and says she needs time to respond. Also she sends me songs, asks me if i ever think about us getting back. So another 3 weeks pass and we go to the park I get her roses and tell her again i still love her. She says we should not speak anymore because she is seeing a NEW guy.

 

The Discovery:

So about a mo has past (today). I have realized that she cheated on me when we went out at the very end and lied about it. Basically left me for him thing. Even when i asked her to look me in the eyes she did and still lied. The funny thing is I got her a job she so desperately wanted and there is where she met the other guy. This realization came 11 mo after we broke up.

 

The Plan:

The last we spoke went horrible she got upset and I went into the please forgive me weak mode again. I want to write her an email tell her all this info i have learned. But should I at this point. She still has the power because our last convo was of me being weak.

 

thanks,

[sportsguy9981]

Well I think you were wrong by keeping in contact with her after she told you she had a BF. At that point you should have let her go completely, or at least went NC like Im doing so you can have at least a decent chance of letting her go. She was also wrong by leading you on later by meeting up with you, she should have known that you would be interested in getting back together, and if she didnt have that same interest then she shouldnt have contacted you. She seemed to just like the attention at the time, thats all she liked, it doesnt seem like it was you it was the attention.

My advice is to have NC, in order to try to get over her and move forward. There are women out there that dont cheat, and will love you for who you really are. My ex cheated and left me for another guy as well, she wasnt even going to tell me about the other guy but I knew something wasnt right and she then told me. Do you really want to keep going back and forth with her while she climbs into bed with another guy? I sure dont..in time I wont even care if she's intimate with someone else but Im sure it hurts like a semi truck to you, and to me as well... so NC is the only option im sorry. Find a girl that is faithful and commited to you only, dont waste money on a divorce, more cheating, child support, and half of what you ever made.

[ChellyV]

If you are too tired to be confused, then just quietly re-focus on your life. Having a third party in a "relationship" is very stressful and exhausting. You don't want that. Go NC and really really start anew.

[throwaway13]

"Even when i asked her to look me in the eyes she did and still lied."

 

Run. Run far. Run fast.

[Not a rookie]

She is a cheater and a very manipulative person. Dump her and move on.