Does he miss me???

[blondy123]

Hello. I have posted on here before so i will try keep this post shorter. In summary, my ex and I were together for 6 1/2 years, married for just over a year when we broke up. Things werent great after we got married as we were living with my parents saving up for our own place. Things did get a bit stale between us. I didnt realise how much I used to sit on my phone. It was always him who had to ask for cuddles, kisses etc. I was very insecure also so accused him of cheating a lot. In the lead up to our wedding he was so excited, he never got cold feet and was even counting down the days. He even said he wished he didnt have to wait so long to marry me (we were planning it for 2 years due to money issues). In the last few months (about 4 months) of our relationship he seemed to be depressed, and was diagnosed in sept 12 with depression. I also found out he had been doing drugs in an attempt to lift his mood but it only made it worse. Although his attention for me never stopped he became different, not the happy bubbly man i married.

 

When we broke up it came out of the blue. He was texting a woman who lived miles away and started getting 'feelings' for her. she made him feel good as he lied to her about everything and she didnt know what he was really going through. We broke up a few times, then took it slow by dating again. Then this woman text lying about something I had suposidly said to her and he then was unsure what he wanted again. When we were dating he told me several times how much he loved me, missed me and his actions and body language confirmed that he loved me. He said I would never change ( ie my accusations, lack of attention toward him etc)

 

A week later I found out he was with someone new. It wasnt the woman he had been texting. this was a woman who was completely different to his usual type, she had older children and was older then him. Had her own place. I contacted her and she basically told me that my husband still loves me but that I had done too much to him and to let him move on. She told me to stay away from him and even got him a new phone so that I couldnt contact him.

 

Im still in contact with his mum as we get on really well and she doesnt like his new girlfriend, and even said she doesnt think he truly loves her as he seems embarrased by her. He has been with her for 9 weeks now.

 

This is my confusion. In the past few weeks he has been looking at my profiles on 2 dating sites a lot. He has also contacted me about silly things like to meet for his printer just me and him. Or about rugby. On tues this week he messaged me again on this dating site giving me his mobile number, but said this didnt mean he had changed his mind! I text him so that he could have my number just saying hi and he replied saying We'll keep to what I said ok. Does this mean he is starting to miss me? he must be thinking about me to contact me randomly and behind her back!

 

Also, he has accounts on both of these dating sites and goes on it daily, at least 5 times a day. he updates his pics regularly too. So is this a sign all isnt going well in his relationship?

 

He has never kept in contact with an ex so soon after a break up before, and has never given his mobile number to any either (I used to go through his phone). Also whenever I mention divorce he either ignores it or doesnt reply. I really think he is with her to get over me, as that is what she told me when they first got together that she was helping him move on. I have heard from his mum that she is very controlling too. When he left her just before xmas she rang me as she thought he had come back to me, saying she doesnt think he is fully over me yet.

 

So my question is this. Is he starting to realise what he lost, maybe wants contact to see if i have changed? Is he starting to miss me? Possibly still love me?

[Xylitol]

I am amazed by how blind you are, can you not see that you let his soul die by pure and utter neglect from your side?,

 

You are the type of person who neglects to give water to the plants and wonders why the flowers aren't blooming , questions like "will the flowers ever start blooming again?" are equal to "Is he starting to miss me? Possibly still love me?"

 

Why don't you give him some effin attention so that he wont start using drugs in the relationship and dive into depression,

 

Also are you ALONE in a relationship? No, right? Love has got to go BOTH ways, and time and effort (read give water to the plants regularly to prevent them from dying)

 

i am like what the hell is this relationship, were you sleeping or something? anyway to answer your questions, he always missed you in the past, during your marriage, and in the future, for you were never there for him. He always loved you, in the past, during your relationship, and now that he is with another woman. However this plant has legs, and will run for water in other places out of pure starvation, dehydration reasons, thats why he left for another woman, not because he didn't love you, but because out of neglect. I am happy you are honest about it, because then you know what you need to improve in order for you to be and have a happy relationship, to invest continues time and effort into a relationship is what love is, do you even love him by the way or do you just want his attention?

 

Throw your insecurities out of the window and just go for gold in your life.

[blondy123]

Thank u for your honest answer. Yes I do love him with all my heart. Its only after I lost him that I realised what an idiot I have been during our marriage. I think I assumed we were married now so he was mine forever. Before our marriage I gave him lots of attention. I regret acting how I did and really want him back. I'm just hoping I can now show a better side to him of me, the me he first met and hope we can get back together. However as it was him who ended it I don't wanna come accross to pushy and needy. He has made contact several times which is a start. Just hope it can improve from there. Thank u again for your honest answer its exactly what I needed to hear from someone else

[blondy123]

I have an update and now even more confused. he text me last friday asking if I could take his printer over to his mums, and that he would fit my car sterio for me on monday. I told him I couldnt do monday, and straight away he replied saying he would do it the following monday instead. He then text his mum and asked her to let him know if I take his printer over to hers. He has some other bits at mine that he knows about but never asked for them.

 

His mum text him back saying "whats the rush", to which he replied saying "there isnt any rush. Why did you say it like that for, sounds like you want us to get back together". His mum then replied saying "well why did you say that, do you want to get back with her". He never answered the question at all.

 

He then text me at 3am sunday morning saying "sorry". I replied befroe i really had time to think as it had woken me up saying "what for?". He hasnt replied to that either.

 

Im confused because he seems keen to want to fit my sterio for me and see me. I also would have thought that if he had no feelings or love for me at all then surely he would have replied to his mums text saying "no" but he didnt he ignored the question. Im also confused as to what "sorry" meant as thats all he said. Does it mean im sorry as in he may regret what has happened, or sorry as in sorry for hurting you, or sorry as in the way things went.

 

I struggle to understand why he has been contacting me more and more over the past 4 weeks (we broke up 10 weeks ago). Sureley if he was truly in love with his girlfriend he wouldnt jeopardise that by contacting someone he supposidly has no feelings for, especially giving me his number which she got for him to not be able to contact me on. he is going behind her back by all of this it doesnt make sense. We were together 6 and a half years and we did get married and we always had this special connection to one another.

 

What do you all think. Do you think he maybe wants me back but taking it slow? is he contacting me because he has feelings for me still?