Abbykemp Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 A guy I had been seeing for a couple of months disapeared on me and at the time I had no idea why. I text him a couple of times just asking if everything was ok to no reply, so I thought I have been through stuff like this before so I just left it. Then on Tuesday I received a text from him apologising for his behaviour because he freaked out, I said not to worry and that he should just have said if he wasn't interested. Then he text me last night saying it wasn't that he wasn't interested and that he just freaked because it was getting serious and his last relationship ended badly. I replied by stating I was just out a serious relationship too so I maybe expected it to move faster than either of us was ready for. He then text and said I had nothing to apolgise for and asked how uni was. I haven't replied yet. I did really like this guy and since he has got back in contact I do want to give it another chance even if his apology was just a line, but I don't want to come on too strong. Should I reply to his message that he sent last night or wait for him to text again? One of my friends says to wait because if he really liked me he has to work for my attention now? Link to comment
becomingkate Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 My daughter had this happen to her - she calls it "relationship abandonment." She had moved on, started dating someone else, and a month later this guy texts her to ask "what happened?" She basically told him she needs someone who knows what they want and she's no ones second thought and she will not be ignored. He continues to try, but she says she's happier with her new guy. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 When this happened to me, I made him wait, I disappeared for a day or a week, and he kept at it. I would let him back in, have a short time of smiles, and then he would disappear again. Not all men are the same; for that reason, I would say Proceed with Caution. Wait to text, if at all, and no overnights for a good long while. Link to comment
LoveSoDeep Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 He asked you a question. If you want to continue the conversation it's proper to answer the question and if you'd like to continue beyond theat you ask a question....that's how it generally works. Most guys I know are very much like that....if a text ends in a ? that mens the other person should respond if not it's okay to drop it. Which is why I make sure every time I text my little brother if I am meaning to chat for a bit I aska ? at the end of every text! lol works like a charm. Please do be careful though he flaked once he may do it again. Link to comment
EssexMan Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 Yeah. What LoveSoDeep said. He will be waiting for you to reply, naturally, and if you don't he will probably take it as a brush-off and may not contact you again. So, if you wish to maintain contact, you need to reply - though there's no need to rush it. You seem a bit unsure what you think about this guy, between this and another thread. Link to comment
oldenoughtoknow Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 Well, we obviously don't know this guy as well as you, so it's hard to estimate his character. You also didn't mention how long he disappeared after dating for a couple months. I agree you don't want to come on too strong and jump right back into the fast track. He asked how uni was going yesterday, so today I'd tell him. Don't sit by your phone and answer his texts within 5 seconds. Go on with your life and answer him when you feel like it. I normally don't like games, but if you appear too eager at this point, you'll be teaching him that abandoning you is an okay thing to do. And if/when you do reestablish dating, I would keep my eyes WIDE open and immediately drop him if something like this ever comes up again for any reason whatsoever. Link to comment
Abbykemp Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 He disappeared for a month. I don't know it he met someone else and it didnt work out or if he panicked because I wasn't chasing him. I do want to text him but at the same time don't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing I'm still here if that makes sense, but I don't want to run the risk of him thinking I've brushed him off completely. Link to comment
EssexMan Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 I do want to text him but at the same time don't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing I'm still here if that makes sense, but I don't want to run the risk of him thinking I've brushed him off completely. Well, you can't have it both ways. You need to decide whether you are available for maybe resuming things with him again. If you're not, it's pure game-playing. Link to comment
Abbykemp Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 He replied back right away, I dunno how to feel about him now because he did hurt me, just got to text for a while and take it slow i guess, find out his game lol Link to comment
EssexMan Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 just got to text for a while and take it slow i guess Yup. find out his game lol Don't assume he's playing one. Some people in the world are still genuine. Link to comment
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