sibelius9 Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 I asked for my belongings to be shipped to my new location and she decides to ask me if I'm happy, how my work is going and why I am signing my email with my nick name instead of my full name? She also says that I "sound good" (however that may be possible through an EMAIL).Really? This seems absurd coming from a person who swore she'd marry me and broke up with me 7 months ago and is now 1.5 months into a new relationship. Also, I ask for my things back in a cordial manner and she says she "wishes I weren't so cold"? Cold?! It was a civil and cordial email (certain lines even friendly, I would say) and that makes me cold? I cannot understand these things BUT maybe some friendly person on this site can give me their perspective on the matter. Just thought I would put it out there. Thank you! R Link to comment
throwaway13 Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 It's possible she's still harboring some pain (or spite). Don't take the bait. Link to comment
missJM Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 I get the feeling she wants to have her cake and eat it too... You may be her back up plan... if the new relationship does not work out... OR she is regretting the decision... OR she just wants you to want her and not move on.. She sounds like she is being selfish to me. Link to comment
sibelius9 Posted January 29, 2013 Author Share Posted January 29, 2013 Wise words missJM. I had a feeling it could have been any of those three. I never thought the person that was going to marry me could turn out to be so contriving and callous. It's horrible to see another side of people you were once so intimate with. It's very disappointing. Link to comment
missJM Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 I know - it is so hard I feel for you. You really do see a whole new side to people you never knew existed... On the other hand at least you now know what she is really like. Did she leave you for this other relationship? Link to comment
sibelius9 Posted January 29, 2013 Author Share Posted January 29, 2013 No. She did not leave me for this relationship. She just gave up on trying to fix US from a distance and obviously holds a lot of ill feelings towards me so she figured "moving on" would be the wisest solution. It is such a complicated situation. It's all very layered. She struggled to think that we could work this out and in the end....she gave up. Meanwhile, I can't recover. We dated 2.5 years (living together...WITH her daughter who called me daddy, moved to another state, etc. etc.) it's going to be 6 months of having broken up and she's already moved on. So much for being her "best friend" and the man she's "loved more than anyone else". It all sounds like a bunch of lies that I fell for. People's volatile sense of commitment makes me really sick. When and how will I recover? I'm been deeply depressed for 7 months. Thank you for hearing me ramble about this pathetic story. Link to comment
missJM Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 I do feel for this new guy... he is just a security blanket at the moment.. I gather she has not really moved on, but just clinging onto someone else to fill the void.. people are nasty and unfortunately you can't really ever trust anyone. Link to comment
sibelius9 Posted January 29, 2013 Author Share Posted January 29, 2013 Her family loathes me and I'm sure they have pushed for this new relationship she's in. The only reason they hate me is because I stood of for my right to not be a doormat at my mother in law's command. I was labeled with all sorts of negative adjectives. If this girl could only see that I wanted what was best for her, her daughter and myself. I wanted to build a family that could surpass our respective upbringings and then I end up being the bad guy. What a raw deal. Life can be very unfair. Link to comment
missJM Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 unfortunately when is comes to family disapproval the survival rates are very low Link to comment
throwaway13 Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 unfortunately when is comes to family disapproval the survival rates are very low Seconded. After my ex torpedoed the relationship, she had the nerve to say "My Mom told me this would happen!" She's moved back with Mama, and now refuses any kind of contact. Even "Hey, you forgot your pets!" Link to comment
sibelius9 Posted January 29, 2013 Author Share Posted January 29, 2013 Well...sure....if she'd tied to the hip and cannot make her own decisions. I understand. I might as well just move on. It's going to hurt a lot though. I can't thank you enough for all your words and the attention you've given me. I hope everything is well with you (I wonder since you're on this site and this particular forum). If you need anything please let me know. Link to comment
sibelius9 Posted January 29, 2013 Author Share Posted January 29, 2013 Thank you for hearing me out. I'll try my hardest to move on. This is probably as dead as can be. Hope is for the faint of heart who cannot stomach reality. It sucks when people are tied to the hip of an unhealthy paternal figure and cannot make their own decisions. What sucks even more is to become an ex partner's scapegoat to justify the erroneous decisions they've made in their life. Such is the game we play, right? If either of you need to talk anything out, please contact me. Again, thank you for your attention and your kind words of support....but mainly for your honesty (seems to be an oddity these days). Link to comment
missJM Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 Yeah - I found this forum as I was having a problem myself, it was a friendship problem with a friend of over 10 years... It sucks, does not hurt as much as an intimate relationship but still hurts. Link to comment
sibelius9 Posted January 29, 2013 Author Share Posted January 29, 2013 They all hurt in their own way. I hope things are looking better for you. Again, thank you. Link to comment
missJM Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 I will survive - just realised she is not worth it... also she is very selfish. Link to comment
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