Bandit32 Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 well, today i went whit a couple of friends watch a football game to a bar i dont usually attend, a couple of beers, laughed a lot, then saw her new boyfriend pass by to go to the wc, that affected me of course, dont really know what that guy knows of me, they were in a place i could not see them in the bar, which was good, but my mind was constantly thinking if she was whit him or not, 5mins later there she was coming to wc as well... talked to me normally and whit my friends then moved on. wow dont know why but its been 1 year out of our 11year relation, she already moved on and looks ok, and i am single, see myself whitout time to meet new people, and i feel like crap after this close encounter...i was going ok then i see her and feels like i am an idiot and all the things wrong whit my patetic life. i dont have any necessity to contact her, but miss her like hell what can i do? to not to feel like this... waisted my youth whit that girl now see myself alone Link to comment
ssgirl1010 Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 Bandit32, That is very hard. I think it is normal that you feel that way. Seeing our ex rushes back memories and thoughts and can make us really, really sad. It is hard to see that our ex has moved on. Prior to my most recent encounter I was in a long, committed relationship for about 12 years. I know you feel like you wasted your youth in your 11 year relationship but perhaps you need to view it as a time in your life when you were with someone who made you happy, who you learned from, and she learned from you. Perhaps, it was a time in your life and in her life where the two of you were meant to be together even though it didn't last. You said you were "okay" prior to this encounter and I think that you can be "okay" again. Just give your time to grieve a bit about this encounter. Tell yourself that it is okay to be feeling the way you do. There is nothing abnormal about it. Then move forward as you have been doing in the last year. It is really, really hard. But you can do it. Link to comment
Bandit32 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Share Posted January 28, 2013 thanks a lot for the kind words, today i feel a bit better, the work also keeps my mind ocupied but every now and then it comes to my mind... i hope i can be happy again, even knowing it is hard to know or meet new people, maybe when i least expect she will bump into me... but i kind of lost hope on that being a girl in these times of meeting new people is a lot easier, just go out there and pick. Link to comment
ssgirl1010 Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 Bandit32, I am happy to hear that you were feeling a bit better today. Today, I had a bad day. I thought about him way too many times. Hoping he would contact me somehow. I don't think it is any easier to find that special someone whether you are a male or female (I am female and it is hard!!!). You will be happy again but it will take time to heal. That is something that I am finding hard to accept. But don't give up. Keep forging ahead. There will be light and laughter again. Link to comment
nightwatch Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 May I suggest to look at the situation as another life experience? Some are good, others are bad but we still learn from all of them. This is how we become mature people. Human brain and the body can handle a lot. It is a good chance to learn about yourself and start looking at whom you want to be or can be in a totally different environment. Keep working on yourself, keep busy. DO NOT THINK ABOUT WHAT COULD HAPPEN OR WHAT SHE DOES NOW. IT is all about you now. Link to comment
Bandit32 Posted January 29, 2013 Author Share Posted January 29, 2013 very true, the thing that confuses me the most is what a stranger she becomed, i barely recognize her actions, its a different person and she feels the same way to me i think. the fact that i live in a small town, doesnt help. bumping into each other is a matter of time, especially at night life the probability is almost 100%, that doesnt really help in anything my father always told me " far from the eyes....far from the heart" Link to comment
nightwatch Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 I know how you feel. I bump into my ex all the time. We have a lot of mutual friends and regularly are invited to the same events. My ex is not single, but she does not have an upper hand. You must work hard on your own image, style and be mentally ready to face the music. I even replaced my wardrobe completely. I travel, learn cooking, jog, swim and read a lot. I watch classic movies or documentaries to keep my brain active if I feel I do not want to do anything. You will be surprised how much interesting info you can get from all the above. It helps to become a very good conversationist when out. I feel like a brand new person and it is only after 4 months since BU. Cheer up and keep pushing, there is no limit to what you may become in few months. And the most important you may like it. It is a break through. Link to comment
Bandit32 Posted January 29, 2013 Author Share Posted January 29, 2013 i am trying to cheer up, but once i see a in love couple pass by me i see how unhappy i am, and how lucky they are, i miss a relationship, someone to arrive home to, someone to share your feelings, traveling alone is also a bit frustrating, who does that?? i feel bad when i go out whit my friends, all couples and me, hate it but thats what i have i guess when i least expect someone will bump into me, but i am not the kind of person of talking to strang women.. some guys find that easy not me... and being passive will not take me anywhere Link to comment
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