helpme102392 Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Me and my ex were dating for almost 4 years. about 6 months ago we broke up, she was doing alot things behide my back. since then about 3 months ago we just hung out for a few weeks but weren't official back together but we were on right track and the she went on vaction came back and didnt wanna be with me anymore .so we stopped talking and ever few often i would text and try fixing things but she doesnt want this anymore and just wants to be free single . so finally i decided to stop and move on for real. but now my problem is i dont know what to do with my life. i stopped going to school because i got a good job but then got laid off right b4 xmas, so now i have no money cant find a job. my friends are in relationships and we dont really like partying or drinking or doing drugs. so i dont no what to do with my life anymore iam so lost and cant seem to find happiness or what to do. i really donnt get what do people do with there lifes, do they just work come home drink party and do that every day or 2 -3 times a week every week. iam so board with my life i cant watch tv, listen to music, play videos games, or watch movies. All i do now is wake up go to gym, eat, sleep and cry. Can some one please help me and give me some ideas or somthing to pull my head outta my ass and get a new life one thats back on track. Link to comment
Shadow415 Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 One day you will realize that your BU was the best thing for you. She seems to be accross the board with her feelings and not sure of what she really wants in life. First thing to do is promise to practice NC, which will be difficult because I will assume she will contact you again when she feels sadness because you make yourself available. I think you should go back to school Link to comment
helpme102392 Posted January 24, 2013 Author Share Posted January 24, 2013 21 years young Link to comment
helpme102392 Posted January 24, 2013 Author Share Posted January 24, 2013 yea i always make and made my self avaible to her b.c i love her so much and she has a crazy life we been together since we were young and now she been like getting around with a bunch of diff guys partying doing drugs n new things n just going crazy and its so sad to me and my family. Link to comment
Shadow415 Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Her problems are that. Her problems, you no longer have to deal with them. She is at a point of her life where she wants to try different things and be free. The best thing you can do now is build your life w/o her and move forward. Its a good thing this happened now and not later. Good Luck. Link to comment
helpme102392 Posted January 24, 2013 Author Share Posted January 24, 2013 yes guess your right its just i dont know what to do with my life now it seems all everybody wants to do theses days is go out drink and party and thats not me iam very old school i guess you would say iam just very lost and dont know how to move forward with life or what to do. Link to comment
California01 Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Firstly I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time. I'm in a similar situation and its so hard to cope with these kinds of situations, but I think you need to keep yourself as busy as possible. I know exactly how you feel because most people in my situation would just drink/party/smoke to get their mind off stuff but I'm not really into all that so its difficult finding a constructive use of my time but have you thought about going back to school? Financial aid does wonders these days in paying for tuition as well as housing. Or maybe trying a new hobby rather than the gym? City bball/football/soccer league or boxing at a local gym (I've been doing this and its AMAZING, get's my anger out and by the time I leave I'm so exhausted I sleep like a baby!)? Or maybe any charity organizations? Volunteer at a homeless shelter, get involved in a good cause (habitat for humanity, etc.) doing things for the underprivileged has helped me A LOT through my breakup because I know I'm spending my time helping others and it reminds me of how small my breakup is in the grand scheme of the problems other people face. The key is to try new things that are good for you and help you heal, spend time with family, maybe become more religious? Get a fun side job like maybe working at the gym or junior coaching for kids, etc. Just some thoughts, but these things have really helped me in the past. I know it's hard, but time, family, friends, activities, praying, exercise, and once again..TIME will really help. Link to comment
ChellyV Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 actually, you are doing a good job handling your life and knowing what to do and what not to do. of course, i am sure you know how to unwind and play. if she isn't sure what to do, then you truly do not have a choice but to move on. let it all go and start NC. an NC so you can heal and not because it is sometimes perceived as an act of vengeance. i never truly appreciated NC until i myself saw how i grew as a person and gave me a myriad of choices after. you are still young and hopefully this is going to be your last heartbreak. but in our lives people come and go and consider it normal to do so. be strong and focus on your goals in life. you will get better. Link to comment
Lazyg1rl Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Can I suggest, travel, volunteering, social sports.. I find volunteering to be fulfilling - you get to meet new people and interact with them. I think if you surround yourself in a group environment, you will never get lonely. You sound like a good guy. I wish you well. Keep Smiling.. Link to comment
TakeAStepFrwd Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Sorry to hear the tough time you are going through. I am in a similar situation. However, my situation maybe a little easier than yours. I hang out with friends on the weekend and have a job and go to the gym. But it is the time in between that is a killer. I try to watch movies (concentrate on documentaries as I will learn something in the process or motivational videos). This helps me get motivated and positive even if just for an hour or so. I used to sketch so I am trying to get back on that. I go to gym and it makes me feel a little better about myself. I volunteer once a week which also helps. But the truth is that all these things may help for the time being but the hole left in your heart can only be healed by time and by going through the pain. I am going through this process and what makes it worse is that I can't exactly do NC. I am trying to stop depending on her for my confidence and self esteem. The suggestions people made are very good and doing whatever you can will def ease the process. I used to drink, do drugs and party but now I have paused all of that in wake of this break up. I don't want to depend on those for my healing. I wan't to do it solely on my own. This way I can truly be independent. I think you are doing good, it is only natural that you feel sad and cry. I do it all the time. I would suggest going back to school if possible as that will take your mind off a lot and help a lot. I hope you feel better! Link to comment
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