SilentG Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 First post here. I'll try and keep it short! I was dating a guy I met online for 3 months. He was fresh out of a 4 year relationship (his decision) but assured me it was over and his ex had moved abroad back home. Things moved quite quickly and we were seeing each other fairly often. Slept together after about 3 weeks from the first meet and a fair few dates. He soon tells me that his ex is actually moving back to the country. Obviously I voiced my concerns with this and he reassured me and told me nothing has changed and the reasons they broke up are still there. A couple of weeks later she calls him crying telling him her mother has cancer. He told me this has made him reassess the situation and thinks maybe he was too hasty breaking things off with her and that he feels like he should be there for her, but at the same time has fallen for me and doesn't know what to do as he was unhappy with his ex for months but there are still feelings there. I gave him space and a couple of weeks later as I guessed he told me he is going to try again with her and see what happens. I didnt even bother replying to his text and thought ok done. The next day he continued to text me as if nothing had happened. I ignored the texts but they continued over a number of days saying things such as "hi "hope you're ok" or "are we not talking anymore I just need to know?" He also left a message on his dating profile saying how he was leaving the site but he met an amazing girl on it but sadly things didnt work out. I'm now wondering if he is having regrets and if I'm making a mistake ignoring his texts. It has been 2 days since I last heard from him and his ex is returning very soon. I really liked him and we really had a connection but don't want to look like a fool. I would like to see if there is another chance but I have no idea what to say or how to go about it, or if this is just a game I am bound to end up getting hurt in. Shall I reply and if so saying what? Thanks!! Link to comment
lizzie2011 Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 A couple of years ago I made a deal with myself. I decided that I would never try to be with anybody who didn't know if they wanted me. Relationships take commitment from both parties so it makes no sense for you to be committed to him when he's committed to her. I don't think you should remain friends with him and accept whatever crumbs he is able to offer you while he reunites with her. So far you have handled this really well. Don't let the last minute dating site message sway you. I don't agree that "things didn't work out". He left you and went back to his ex. Its not your fault. He hasn't offered you anything at all. Hi, hope you're alright is not a commitment. I wouldn't reply to anything less than "I've made a big mistake, I know that now, it was over, I just felt bad cause her mom has cancer, " ... anything less than that is him having his cake and eating it too Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Shall I reply and if so saying what? No. He sees you as an option rather than a priority. Don't become that person. Link to comment
SilentG Posted January 23, 2013 Author Share Posted January 23, 2013 Thanks guys, I know deep down this is true. I've managed to steer off replying for a whole week now so will try and carry on! My downfall i'd rather know what he is thinking and getting an answer rather than always thinking "what if" Arghh Link to comment
EssexMan Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 an answer rather than always thinking "what if" Arghh An answer would only leave you with more "what if"s, anyway. Link to comment
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