bebeblondie Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 So I had a first date Saturday night with a guy I met on a dating site. My first impression of him when we met was he was funny and adorable, pretty much what I was expecting from his profile. However as the date wore on for some reason I just was not feeling the chemistry with him, he was talking a lot and it was hard for me to get a word in edgewise and I think this is what might have caused the lack of chemistry on my part. Also I was trying to read how he felt, and it was kinda difficult....about an hour into the date the bartender came up to us and asked if he wanted another drink (at this point he already had had two), so he looked at me and said "should I have another drink", so not sure what to say to this, "I answered, yea if you want" and he said "well, are we staying"? to which I replied "whatever you wanna do" and so he ordered another drink. After he finished that drink, he asked the bartender for the check, paid it and we left, so all together the date lasted an hour and a half, which is pretty short, so I just assumed he was not interested and probably didn't feel the chemistry either. The only thing that confused me was that whole "should I have another drink thing", was he trying to gouge how I was feeling? or did he just figure, if I'm sitting here another 20 minutes might as well have another drink? Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Yeah, I think he was just asking if you were ready to leave. No biggie. Link to comment
laninaperdida Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Dating is tough for guys, too. He asked if he should have another drink because he was looking for you to participate... Help him out. If you said yes, he'd have something to go on. Either that or he's an alchy, lol. Link to comment
bebeblondie Posted January 22, 2013 Author Share Posted January 22, 2013 Dating is tough for guys, too. He asked if he should have another drink because he was looking for you to participate... Help him out. If you said yes, he'd have something to go on. Either that or he's an alchy, lol. lol well I kinda did say yes (maybe not in the most encouraging way though lol) but he asked for the check after that drink which told me he wasn't interested. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Did you guys just go to a bar to drink as a date? You didn't sit down to have a meal or anything? Link to comment
laninaperdida Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 ^^^ You pretty much answered your own question: You weren't encouraging. @ all. You were more like a blob with the "Whatever you wanna do" responses. Try to help the guy out by saying something like yes or no Link to comment
Abbykemp Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Have you been in contact since? Do you even care if you see him again? Link to comment
bebeblondie Posted January 22, 2013 Author Share Posted January 22, 2013 Did you guys just go to a bar to drink as a date? You didn't sit down to have a meal or anything? Yes, that was the plan to go for drinks. When we got to the place there were no tables available so we sat at the bar, which was still fine since the place has a pretty intimate setting. Link to comment
Baily Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 my guess is he was looking for a sign that you are having fun and wanting to stick around. Typically an answer of 'whatever you want' is not the same as 'heck yea!' or 'sounds good.' I wouldn't look too much into it. I'm guessing he's second guessing himself as well....such as dating does to both parties. If you had fun, go out again.... Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Yes, that was the plan to go for drinks. When we got to the place there were no tables available so we sat at the bar, which was still fine since the place has a pretty intimate setting. Well, to me then, an hour and a half is about right, not short. I mean, what else were you going to do, just keep drinking? Based on that, I think it's a mistake to assume he's not interested. In fact, I would assume the opposite based on him asking if he should order another drink - if he wasn't feeling it, that was his opportunity to bail, but instead he decided to stay longer with you. Next time, make a reservation or something. Link to comment
bebeblondie Posted January 22, 2013 Author Share Posted January 22, 2013 Have you been in contact since? Do you even care if you see him again? No we haven't and no I don't. This post is me just trying to get some opinions, so I can maybe me more aware on future dates. I tend to go on here and post about all my online first meetings, whether I am interested or not, just to get some feedback. Link to comment
bebeblondie Posted January 22, 2013 Author Share Posted January 22, 2013 Well, to me then, an hour and a half is about right, not short. I mean, what else were you going to do, just keep drinking? Based on that, I think it's a mistake to assume he's not interested. In fact, I would assume the opposite based on him asking if he should order another drink - if he wasn't feeling it, that was his opportunity to bail, but instead he decided to stay longer with you. Next time, make a reservation or something. Totally right about the reservation, but that place doesn't take reservations I think I was just thrown by that question, because usually if the guy wants another drink he just orders it, especially if it's only one hour into the date. But that's just been my experience, you're probably right though, maybe he just had trouble reading my interest. Link to comment
Gimpyrks Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 I agree with everyone he was trying to see if you were still interested in the date. Also, if everything was great except for him talking a lot I'd give him another date if the chance arises. He might have been nervous about the whole thing and you might see better chemistry on the second date. Link to comment
laninaperdida Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 ^^^ I like that. Might as well *think* about what you're doing right/wrong, how to be received better, etc. . Your approach indicates you're not interested & I think 1 of 2 things will happen: 1. He'll either want you more because you seem somewhat hard to get or 2. He'll write you off & move on to the next. This is where what you look like comes into play. If you're a good looking girl, he's less likely to contact you again. Why? Because if you couple good looks with an indifferent response like "Whatever you wanna do," he'll prob see you as way too intimidating. Guys aren't as tough as they like us to think they are. We've all ready posts about how easily they scare away. Now, if you're not a good-looking girl, then playing slightly hard to get works in your favour. (I think so, anyways.) It makes you seem less desperate & he'll think "Why doesn't SHE like ME?" If a good looking girl doesn't act interested the 1st thought that typically crosses a guy's mind is that she's not into him & he doesn't have a chance. I honestly think the degree of interest you need to display is directly proportional to how you look. The better looking you are the more interested you need to seem so the poor ****er has some encouragement. Link to comment
buddha55 Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 He was saying, "should I extend the date by ordering another drink? Do you want to sit her longer?" I think this is quite normal, even amongst friends and non dates. It's very respectful. Because of your response, he asked for the check directly after.... (Although 3 drinks is enough anyway) I'm guessing he hurried through his last. Link to comment
bebeblondie Posted January 22, 2013 Author Share Posted January 22, 2013 Yup, every guy who hasn't contacted me after a date, has obviously felt I was wayyyyyyyyy too good looking for him. lol, I like your way of thinking!!! It's definitely a self esteem boost P.S. Now kinda hoping he doesn't call and make me think I'm ugly Link to comment
.thumb.jpeg.44db4c04df92b9d233296a0149430b4d.jpeg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.