Success-ish story+need advice

[mantas3z]

Been Dating since Oct 2010, LDR since July 2012.

So my gf broke up with me since at the end of July, like 3 weeks after she moved out accross the country for college, and I stayed put because I didn't want to follow in her footsteps since she had an athletic scholarship at an out of state school and I did not. I was absolutely torn and kept begging and pleading and all that stupid stuff and she said she was no longer in love with me and she knew in her gut that I was not the one for her and I should move on. So I attempted this, mid-august i began 100% NC.. Well about a week later i start getting texts hinting at her missing me, i don't respond. Then a day later, something about a movie reminding her of me-to this I just blatantly said 'ok' and she replied with 'yeah'. and that was that. And it escalated from her end from there and she eventually one night calls me crying asking me us to get back together. (i knew 100% that she was not playing games with me).

 

So basically stupid me, I was kind of just like i'll think about it. And the next day I call her and said yes, i want to get back together and were both in it for the long run and whatnot. I really regret being that easy to get back because I was too excited to have what i was longing for... Here I am 5 or 6 months later.. I digged in from her asking about what happened because it haunts me that at some point she had absolutely no love for me.. She said, she was really excited at college and meeting new people and met a guy she thought was cute. So she got scared and broke up with me. Apparently they started hanging out more (as a group is what it seemed like) and she started to think about me more and more, and eventually all her friends convinced her that she was still in love with me and they did not do anything.

 

My problem is this- I can't stop from thinking about it. Just thinking about her flirting with another man and finding him attractive makes me sick. We made plans for me to possibly transfer to her school next year because it might cost just about the same, and honestly I do not like the school I am currently attending. Anyways I don't know how to stop from constantly thinking this crap about her because she is not the kind of person that goes from guy to guy, and I know she is attractive to most people, and I have d1 football players to compete with although I myself am a former football player in high school and probably more attractive than them. I don't know if these haunting images of her breaking my trust completely is too much baggage for me or not, I wanna just get over it. I mean its been 5 or 6 months now. She has repeatedly expressed her regret for it to me and I keep saying stuff referencing things about the past. Other than that she is the perfect woman for me, seriously she is all a guy can dream of, and I know she is a loyal person and would leave me before doing anything with anyone else, but she has kind of tried.. is what she did a form of cheating? Is she worth it? I know I want to marry her someday, but I'm only truly happy when I'm with her and can forget about all this stuff that haunts my memories. What do i do to just make myself forget and move on. Its not even that big of a deal-right?