Never had a life in the past, Will I be able to start life 25 years later?

[aaronb87]

I guess I am lost in a way because I felt like I never truly had a life. I moved away from my mother after 25 years together to live with my father that has not been a full time father since I was 8. I do have Aspbergers Syndrome and was diagnosed at 13, I sometimes hate the fact that I have it and makes me vulnerable socially but at the same time gives me the strengths in my talents. I am a freelancer computer technician and been doing it professionally for six years total but four years alone. Before I moved, things were tough for me, I felt like my mother and step father controlled where I went at night and never let me have a life since I had a Autistic Brother that they made me watch constantly and they never watched him much until I moved out. My brother is now 14 and I have not seen in 9 months now that is now at a hospital due to being severely aggressive and sometimes violent. I felt like people thought I was the father to my brother and that is wrong I had to watch him so much and never have time to have a life those years ago. My mother never let me have friends over when I was a kid for some reason and I never was involved in extra-curricular activities so you can say I was very boring. I have a fiancee that I love dearly so much that I have been with for over two years that I met in November of 2010, she was the one that got me out of the situation back in April that I was in for a long time. When I moved, i felt relieved not having to be obligated to do something I did not sign up for but at the same time felt like a failure due to the fact I never got to live life after graduating high school at 18 about 8 years ago. I became jealous, angered, and lost when I saw others that I knew that have moved on with their lives by having success, weddings, children, money, cars, houses, etc. I feel so left out and just wished I could have lived a life when I could have. Will I be able to move on and leave the shadow of my past behind or will I keep going on feeling like my time to shine has passed on? I am just lost, so lost.

[poetryandlyrics]

It's never late to start. A lot of people started out little, and started up building with what you got. And it sounds like you can too with your career. Just have to expand and you are as you moved out. Don't be so hard on yourself. If you're in your 20s, the 20s is not an easy age. It's a transitional part in your lives. A lot of people have cars under their parents until they can finally get their own or for whatever else.

 

Now you moved out and you know what you want, it's time for you to do it.

[aaronb87]

I guess what I am saying is that I am just overwhelmed about how much I missed out on and it brings me down.

[poetryandlyrics]

That's normal. Don't worry about that and just use that emotion to fuel you into experiencing life.