Girlfriend has suddenly become a little withdrawn from the relationship

[Jonny253]

Hi,

We've been seeing each other for about 3 months now but its not mega serious but we do like each other. this is my first relationship and im a little bit of an awkward potato but she seems to like me and I havent sort of rushed the relationship, in fact she asked me out on a date on time. Im at uni, for a while i wasn't sure whether she liked me back it was sort of mixed but then we did get closer and started seeing each other. Its been great and we're really good together and we have loads in common. However when we went out clubbing with our friends one day she seemed like to not pay attention to me, usually we are close and are together for the evening but she was not even standing near me? I havent said anything harsh to her or anything it seems like its come out of no-where. She also is texting me with one kiss instead of two or three, also instead of a kiss when i left her flat it was just a hug, do you think she has suddenly gone off me? I'm very confused, any advice would be great, i really don't want to lose her. btw she hasn't said anything to me about it and seems fine talking to me (maybe a bit less talkative to me) and everything its just like the relationship part has disappeared overnight?

Thanks guys

[RedDress]

She could have gone off you... some people can be a little flakey that way (without saying anything about it)... but she also could not have gone off you. The "signs" aren't really that clear (slightly more aloof one night, less kisses). Those can be completely innocent.

 

At this juncture, I don't think you should get all confrontational about it. Have you been taking initiative? Did you try to kiss her that night? Or is she the one always making the move?

 

After dating a few months, why don't you just plan something special together with her? Go out, get her flowers or something (especially if you don't do sweet little things like this often) and see how she reacts.

 

You'll probably get a much better sense of what she's feeling after that.

[Jonny253]

Hi thanks for getting back to me, no i didn't usually she makes a lot of the moves, it sounds silly but I hate to feel like im pressuring her into anything so, im the sort that sort of hopes for the best and i know this isnt a great trait, but she does or god forbid did like me, it just seems so sudden, and Im really confused. Basically I don't like to sort of try and kiss her out of the blue cos i feel like she may not want to and then start not to like me sorry if i sound like a saddo. But thanks for the advice I will try and do that

[RedDress]

Oh ok.

 

Well - food for thought - if I were making all the moves on a guy and he wasn't also sometimes making moves on me? I'd lose interest too. After a while it makes her feel like SHE is pressuring the relationship.

 

You don't like that so why would SHE like that? You are making her do all the heavy lifting.

 

Balance is key.

[Jonny253]

Okay thanks for the advice

[MikNomis]

Nice post from RedDress. I agree, maybe it's not how you normally are but I think you do need to make more moves and really sort of "be a man."

[The Raviator]

Johnny,

 

Are you guys sleeping together and/or have you ever actually talked about the status of the relationship?

 

If not, maybe its time... to talk about the status of the relationship I mean.

 

If RedDress is correct then I dont even see a problem actually taking about your desire to take charge a bit more and then at least she knows that you are aware of it and trying to change... No one likes to feel like they have to do all the work.