Friend unexpectedly pregnant

[confusedgirly]

I'm getting married in September and my best friend is one of my bridesmaids (the other is my sister). She just found out she was pregnant which was a big shock to them because their doctor said the chances of them ever conceiving naturally was slim to none. So needless to say I'm pretty shocked as well. I am definitely happy for her but I'm also quite envious.

 

We're both 27. My future husband doesn't want to start trying for children for another 2 years (we just got a house and he wants us to pay down some mortgage before we start living off only one income), that would make me almost 30 before I started trying. I believe I am pretty healthy so HOPEFULLY there will not be issues. If I had my way I'd start trying after the wedding but that's not going to happen. So just wondering... how do you deal with your cluckiness when your close friend has a baby for the first time, and how do you deal with your friendship which is bound to change? I realised she will not be able to do certain things anymore. It's not like we really go to parties anymore but she could never go to one... if I wanted to invite them over for dinner the baby would come (I have no problem with that though).

 

I just feel a bit anxious over it all. It feels like she's going somewhere that I can't follow, and that maybe we won't be able to identify with each others lives anymore. She's one of the only friends I see fairly regularly (my other friends are a few hours drive down the road, or interstate, or not that close so we only see each other at significant events).

 

Just wanted to get that off my chest I guess... if anyone went through anything similar I'd be glad to read your story.

[annie24]

Just be happy for her! You and your husband will soon have children in a few years. Look on the positive - she might discover some cool brands etc, she might give you hand me downs, and you'll get to practice by being an auntie. It's a wonderful thing so don't focus on jealousy.

[confusedgirly]

Just be happy for her! You and your husband will soon have children in a few years. Look on the positive - she might discover some cool brands etc, she might give you hand me downs, and you'll get to practice by being an auntie. It's a wonderful thing so don't focus on jealousy.

 

Yes I know, it's a great thing. I really am happy, I just had some anxiety over thinking about it because it's a new thing to think about.

[Lucy3]

Do you have many other friends? I don't want to make you over think things even more but people do change when they have children, i know many like it. Their world suddenly becomes all about children, they stop going out socially for a while and stop work for a while so the only thing going on in their life is the child, which means the only thing they tend to talk abour is their child. BUT hopefully she will realise that as you are not at that time in your life yet that you are going to want to do things and talk about things other than children all the time.

 

Is she with the dad? or got parents near by? perhaps when the baby is a few months old and she has settled into mother hood she could leave the child for a few hours and meet up with u to have 'old times' just the two of you.