devils hand...

[Delaurence23]

I am a man of wisdom

But yet a man that lives in pain

I have seen the wonders of the world

And the message it spreads

That I cannot believe

Anything is better than me dead

You hide your emotions

And bury them deep inside

Until you know exactly where they hide

I am searching for an answer

But end up with nothing

As my time draws near

The devils hand is squeezing the life out of me

As his dark angel kisses her poison lips upon my

Crimson goodbyes.

In despair I write this note

I wish that no one remembers the mistakes I have made

And the times I have caused

For instead forget me

Forget that I even was sawn on earth at all

I am a mere figment of this rotting core

And tonight, tonight in my death

I am walking out the door

[gefallener_engel]

this is very powerful and really spoke to me in an all knowing way and yet made me think. sorry if that makes no sense, but its how i felt. i really like. keep it up

[ForAnother]

I liked the end. I wrote in another post about the "crimson." I have seen it so many times, and honestly I don't like those wordy stuff anymore. Gimme more of what your thinking. I love streams of thought. You have some rhythm, get some more beat going.

 

(keep in mind I am only another opinion. Don't follow what I say, just take it into consideration I suppose.)

 

ForAnother