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... on being Back Together (myJoy update)

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it has been 3 mths since my gf & i got back together. the road back has been very tough & precarious. i can't keep count of how many times we nearly call it quits. we still haven't given up on each other.


getting back together is tough, staying together is even tougher. back in late feb, my gf left me for another man. for 6 mths i applied the strategy which i outlined in 'Strategy for Getting Back Togther w/ Your Ex' thread. i really hope that many of you can benefit from that post. since i gained so much from the veteran members on here, this is a little of me giving back to this forum.


when in doubt & despair, know that strength lies within ourselves. only we alone can make ourselves whole & happy... not someone else. the ability to move on, & come back w/ a clear mind & control over your emotions is the real key in being able to win yourself back... before winning your ex's heart again.


realize the work does not end at winning your ex back - that's just the beginning. what lies ahead is the real challenge. good luck to us all. oh... yes, we are happy to be back together.


please view the following thread for the strategy:

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I remembered that post on how to get your ex back, and I just re-read it. While it certainly won't work for everyone's situation, I think an important main idea in your advice that will work in any situation is the importance of viewing this as a process and a situation that involves a great deal of understanding.


Sometimes it takes people awhile to realize that what they want really is worth fighting for; or, it takes them awhile to realize what they really want and need, period. A person must come to the realization that they want to do it. So must of what you said - like that begging and pleading to try to get them back doesn't work - rings true for that very reason.


I'm glad this situation has worked out for you. Most importantly, you seem to have figured out the what and why - the reality of the importance of this person to you - and that this reality encompasses a lot of hard work and patience that sometimes a person doesn't realize while entertaining the fantasy of getting back together with someone. It sounds like you kept your wants and needs in mind during this process, which is important because if you don't stay true to yourself and look at what you need, you may end up eventually blowing everything in the end due to accumulated resentment.


I appreciated hearing your advice on this forum and best of luck to you.

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Dude that is great to hear


It always makes me smile when people "GET IT", when they understand what needs to be done and why. Not just finding methods or some thing to GET THEM BACK, because GUESS WHAT?!?! if it ISN'T genuine and if you don't "get it" then you can't keep it up and it'll fall apart.


I find that myJoy typically has the right idea because he is very understanding when others aren't so much. It's easier to pin the blame everywhere else but on ourselves because we don't want to admit we're wrong or because we shouldn't be hard on ourselves. BUT what does it matter if we're hard on ourselves as long as we don't feel pity? In other words, why should it even matter especially if we use that critique as a guide or way to improve ourselves. If something positive comes from it, why think so negatively about it?


So ya man that's great news, I know you have what it takes to make it in the long run. AND TRUST me I have a very strong idea of what I need to do to make myself the best me I can possibly be. I think that's a big part of living life, to find love and to become the real you. I also feel that love is a HUGE part of life and so many fail to acknowledge that.


All the same myJoy I'm happy it happened to you because I have strong faith in you.


All the best,


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