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My ex and I had a horrible break up about a year ago. Yet in my mind, I still have some hope that someday we will get together.


I came to the conclusion over the past few months that I really still do love him and I never told him, even in the time we were together. Yet we already decided that it would be too hard for us to be friends so we agreed not to write or talk to each other.


Is there any chance? Is it worth pursuing? There is no way we could be together because of distance - he was the one that was not willing to keep it up - and I was hesitant.


I just don't know what to do.


I am confused and hurt and just feeling outright horrible about everything.

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Hi Kali,

Its been a year already and you still have feelings for your ex and it seems that you know that you love him. I was in a similar situation once, only that i had those thoughts for 5 YEARS!!!!!!!!!! Until I contacted him again and sort of gave it clousure I didn't get over it.

I think its been a long time, and maybe you should make a decision within yourself to either give what you feel a chance and persue a posible reencounter with your ex and posibly more if it flows naturally or letting it go and moving on with your life. I tell you this cause life is precious, youth is precious and believe me as long as you remain so emotionally attached to one person you will never really give YOUR SELF another chance for love and happiness with another person and everyone deserves to be happy.

I also had the distance factor and when I went for it with my ex,ex I considered that and though I didn\t tell him, it was so clear to me what I felt that I was willing to relocate if our relationship had a chance. Now Im not saying for you to go like a nut and leave your whole life and stuff. I think you should contact him, take a trip to where he is if you can. Go there for a reason, like visiting someone else, tourism, whatever. Write him an email first and say that you will be around there and it would be nice to say hello to him. That you guys can meet for a coffee or something. Then just have a nice chat, let the convo float, do not mention relationship. Be happy, confident, just talk positive things. See how he responds, find out where his life is. Maybe he is married now or is totally in love with someone else and about to have a child (which is what happened in my case ) if that is the case is better that you know. Hopefully it won't be the case with you, I really hope not, however you must be prepared to loose all, win all or win nothing. I think the most important thing however is if you find it impossible to get rid of this person in your mind and heart is to do something about it either way. You shouldn't be lost in a fantasy world if there is no real chance on the other side and you just pining away or in the case that he is also in love with you and your pride is keeping you both silent. I wish you luck. Love is the only emotion worth risking things for.

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Thanks for the reply.


I guess the only hesitancy I have in trying to re-establish contact at this point is that I am still in college and have plans and am not willing to relocate just for him. So I question whether it is even worth it to pursue this.


We got into a long email fight a couple months ago in which I basically told him that I wasn't over him and that hearing about how much he missed his new ex was something I could not and did not want to deal with.


At first he replied patronizingly "however many months or years it takes, I will still be here for you." I felt he was making yet another false promise and replied angrily. After a string of hurtful letters, he finally honored my request to not write me anymore and told me that it would be too hard for us to be friends and asked me to not write him anymore.


And I have been perfectly content up until now when suddenly he has popped up in my mind now.

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