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I love a married girl

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So here's the situation.

I'm a caucasian currently studying in India and I'm head-over-heels in love with our course supervisor, Lakshmi.

The only thing is that I know she's married.

Nevertheless we started having strong eye-contact ever since she briefed us for

giving the course outline.It's really those deep looks in the eyes while smiling sweetly.I assume she had an arranged marriage as is still prevalent in South India, unlike more fast cities like Mumbai or Delhi.

(I'm in Chennai which is really a backward city)

I heard from a student who saw her husband once that he is not particularly good looking or anything.

I can really feel there is "something" between us though I don't dare do make the move to ask her out or anything because of her marital status...

I don't know what to do. I think she may be aware already that I have fallen for her. But I'm not sure as maybe being an orthodox girl she may not even know what eye-contact means and what she triggered...

I know she wouldn't smile THAT way to any other student. Neither does any other girl of the staff look at me me that way either.

Something is definitely different with this girl.

Also I'm a little bit older than other students.I'm 27 and most students are from 18-24 something. She must be younger than me which enables me to talk less formally with her than other students would. They all call her Lakshmi mam or something whereas I simply call her Lakshmi to which she never objected. And whenever she talks I look deeply into her eyes and she doesn't look away.

I went through the article "She Loves Me Or Not" and while some conditions are clearly met some others are ambiguous or impossible to tell as follows:


>Wide, easy smiles accompanied with a relaxed face. She blushes >frequently and her skin tone become redder.


Smiles definitely, blushing is impossible to tell.... She has dark skin


>She maintains eye contact throughout and her pupils are dilated (they >become larger). She would often blink more frequently than usual and >her eye lashes flutter. You might even notice a sparkle in her eye. The >eyes are windows to the soul and are one of the most accurate ways of >telling if she is attracted to you.


Eye-contact all the time.Indian girls have an iris as dark as the pupil... Hence impossible to tell... Besides I think this point is somewhat ambiguous as dilated pupils depend entirely on the LIGHTING in the room.

Didn't notice the fluttering part though.


>Subconscious biting of the lips or showing of the tongue, wetting her lips >or even chewing her fingernails.


Nah... isn't that somewhat cliched? Actually I didn't pay enough attention to this yet.Will try.


>While talking, she is slowly stroking her glass (or any cylindrical >object) up and down with her thumb and index finger. (reveals what she >is thinking of, if you get my meaning) She might also be fiddling with her >jewelry.


This is a college environment... haven't shared a drink with her so far...


>She starts sitting up and her arms aren't limp. If her crossed leg is >pointing in your general direction and rocking back and forth.

>She adjusts the tone and pitch of her voice to match yours. In fact, any >sigh that she is mimicking you can be taken as a sign of interest. For >example, laughing in unison or crossing her legs if you've crossed >yours.


Hmmm.... most of the time we cross each other while WALKING.

If sitting at her desk I can't see that because it's hidden behind a pane.

Ya I sometimes made her laugh though not that often.


>She winks at you in the middle of a conversation or even from a >distance. This means she really is interested in you. Even exposing the >palms of her hand facing you show that she might be interested in you >as it has been proven to be a subconscious sign telling you that she has >nothing to hide.

>She twirls her hair around her fingers or perhaps strokes her hair lightly >with her hand while maintaining eye contact.


No unfortunataly she is not giving THAT obvious signs but many people are always around which also makes it difficult or impossible to become more romantic with her.


Something else happened... To go to the bathroom I have to pass in front of her cubicle... It happened twice that when going to the bathroom she came in there 1-2 minutes after I went in. There's a common hand-wash place before the ladies-gents bathroom doors.Ii may be just coincidental but I'm not sure as she could really have chosen any other moment than when I was inside, like maybe trying to create the conditions in which we could talk privately (which I didn't have the guts to do unfortunately)


So, what to think.... She Loves Me Or Not?

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Well, I don't think any of you love each other yet. I reckon it's at a crush level. If you think about her all the time, it might be infatuation.


If you love each other, both of you would want to make the other happy, both of you might be able to do something drastic for the other and some other points.


To attain that level of love, I suppose both of you would have to have more contact like going out together or talking to each other more. Unfortunately, she seems to be married and my advise would be not to get involved if you can help it. Chances are her parents might get mad, a confrontation between you and her husband may occur if you get involved.


I wish you good luck.

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Ok this is a pain in the butt situation


Well basically depends if sehs the stay at home all day type that does nothing but cook and clean or if shes a rebal and willing to go against parents wish although i doubt it. Her parents will just get uber pissed.


Also you don;t know whether she adores her husband and she would never leave him but you gotta ask


Sometimes i hate the fact the indian culture is all about arranged marriage and if you ask them about love they are like "Love? what is it this stupidity settle down get married have some kids then pass on inheritance and die" Sad i know but tiems are changing i guess...My parents have already said i can marry a gf aslong and shes same cast/colour/religion


Oh well can't have it all




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I personally think that even if there is something between you two, you shouldnt pursue it any further. If she got caught by another member of her community, showing that kind of affection to another person except her husband, then she may be in serious trouble.


To even suggest that she's not happy with her chosen husband is a serious insult to her parents, and those of her husbands, as they spend a lot of time and effort trying to find a good/suitable match. So, yeah, DONT pursue it.

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