dark angel9 Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 I have always stayed away from flings and NSA situations. All my life, I only played it safe and got involved with guys that were commitment ready and I basically took their willingness to commit over my attraction to them. In the end, I was unhappy in all of those relationships. I have started seeing someone, a month or so ago who basically told me up front that he only sees this as a short term thing. I was extremely attracted to him and agreed to a NSA situation. He is very concerned about not leading me on and not hurting me. While I appreciate that, I wish he would relax a bit. I keep telling him that I am OK. He is very honest and upfront about his intentions and I respect that. Is this a bad idea? Is he only going to break my heart? I kind of just want to enjoy the moment and not worry about future for once. Link to comment
Minx2012 Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 Well, you said so yourself that you always " played by the rule book " when it came to relationships and commitment in such relationships. If it's "excitement" that you're looking for, then maybe it's ok to stick around and see where this relationship unfolds. He seems very clear with his intentions and it's not good if you try to change that bc deep down inside, by nature, you are a more cautious, commitment-seeking type of person. Maybe you need to learn how to take challenges and just go with the flow...and that doesn't usually come from relationships. Maybe it's something about yourself that you want to change...by going out there and having more adventures ( not just in terms of relationships ), but in life, generally. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 I don't think it's a great idea, plus why does he keep re-inforcing the situation? Has he said why? Link to comment
dark angel9 Posted November 10, 2012 Author Share Posted November 10, 2012 I don't think it's a great idea, plus why does he keep re-inforcing the situation? Has he said why? He said that it's because he has fear of intimacy and trouble developing emotional connections. I don't really care much to be honest, since I don't want to even try to change his mind. He is probably re-enforcing it because he thinks as a woman, I may get attached - no idea really. I am dating others and if I start feeling hurt by him, I will just get out... Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 A fear of intimacy.....I'd get out now. He's a waste of your time, unless the sex is good. Link to comment
SpookyWooky Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 do you ever have this and honestly if you can i know i am a stranger but i'm just wondering how many ex's you've ever had you seem like a expert in this Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 Why not just wait to date someone who is commitment ready and you are attracted to? Or if not commitment ready, at least open to the idea of it and there is the possibility of something to develop besides....a dead end. From one extreme to the other, eh? Link to comment
RachaelRosen Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 If you can at all see yourself liking him for a long term thing, even if you don't plan on it, don't do it. Link to comment
Amber Coco Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 I do think this will only result in heartbreak for you at the end. Now it feels great and exciting, and you want to see how it develops, maybe secretly hoping that he will fall for you in a way that will make him rethink his NSA approach and beg you to be his girlfriend. It's all wishful thinking. I'm not saying it is impossible, but highly unlikely. Once you've accommodated to his desires, he will never make an effort or have an incentive to take it further. Life is not like the movies. I think you better let this one go before it's too late and you get too attached. We always say we are strong and will not get attached, and will just get out when it starts to feel "off", but that is seldom the case. It's a trap we inadvertently set for ourselves. I would say get out of this now, not tomorrow. Link to comment
SpookyWooky Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 A fear of intimacy.....I'd get out now. He's a waste of your time, unless the sex is good. do you ever have this and honestly if you can i know i am a stranger but i'm just wondering how many ex's you've ever had you seem like a expert in this Link to comment
dark angel9 Posted November 11, 2012 Author Share Posted November 11, 2012 Well I haven't heard from him in a while so this may be done anyway I also have never met a guy who was commitment ready and I am attracted to. And I have around 12 years of dating experience. So I had relationships with guys who I never felt that spark for. I even lived with one for years. While I did get attached to him, I was never quite in love. When he broke up with me, I only literally felt relief. I never even shed a tear. Within a week, I barely ever thought of him again. I never even missed him. Maybe I just screwed up. Link to comment
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