family problems... please help !

[CoryD]

i met my gf about a month ago and we are perfect for eachother... BUT my mom found out that she had bad marks in school and that made her mad... i have the feeling that my mom tries to run my life and not also... she understood that i love my gf very much and theres nothing my mom can do to set us apart.. i thought this until an hour ago.. last night i was in my room with my gf, with the lights off and we were having sex but quietly and im pretty sure my mom realised that it had happened... but my mom told me that we can do whatever we want there. last night also, we had some guests that sat down in the living room and were drinking and eating... after me and my gf got out of my room and we both wanted to go out, my mom insisted that we both go and sit down and eat/drink with the guests... A THING THAT SHE NEVER DONE BEFORE ( with me alone ) we both disagreed and she got mad like HOLY.... she was close of beating me up...

ok after me and my gf went out my mom started to talk bad stuff about my gf to the guests and one of the guests told my gf's mom everything my mom said about her. my gf's mom called me and told me that she found out and that she feels horrible that she trusted my mom...

i dont blame her, i respect her and i think she is right my mom acted like an evil person...

now my mom not only told the guests that my gf gets bad marks but she also said that my gf's mom doesnt care about her daughters future...

i talked to my gf about this and she assured me that this wont affect our relationship but I AM TERRIFIED that my mom has done something like this and i cant live with the thought that my mom will talk bad stuff about people after MY MOM said talking behind peoples back is bad....

I PROMISED MY gf's mom i wont talk this with my mother cuz if i do then id put her( my gf's mom ) in a EVEN MORE pathetic situation...

 

I WOULD DIE FOR ANY OPPINIONS ON WHAT TO DO

thank you !

[Guarana Galrok]

Cory-

 

Hang out at your gf's house. Your mom needs some time away from your gf and anything associated with her. Continue your relationship-it sounds like a strong one, but try not to mix mom and gf. If your mom is rational enough to allow you to do whatever you want with her, then surely she is rational enough to grant your gf the respect she deserves, as you do. Your gf seems to understand the situation, so you are fine in that regard. Try to avoid conversation or providing information about your gf or her mom. Like physical wounds, time can help to heal this. Good luck!

[irreplaceably_rare]

Okay... boyfriends moms not liking the girl they are dating is just about as common as the girls parents thinking badly about the boyfriend she is dating...

 

I dated a guy for four year... and his mom did NOT like me... but.. this is how it is

 

It hurt the relationship a little because i tried to make her like me... and it didnt work.

 

Best advice...

 

tell your mom... I am a "big boy" i have a right to do as i please... Because you are. Your mom is trying to be protective and for that we cant blame her. Best advice. NO SEX when mom is home. to her it is disrespectful... tell your mom (when your alone) youhave the right to choose... and who you choose is your choice. just becareful. Your mom will come around when you make it clear that it is YOUR choice. As for your girl if she loves you then she will stay with you through thick and thn.

 

Now i dont know if your father is in the pic. but in my case my ex's father had passed away... his mother didnt want to let him go. that i understood so i tried to stay out of the way.

 

AND AND AND AND AND AND AND AND AND AND AND AND

 

CONDOMS if your still with your mom... put a rainsuit on that bad boy.

 

Also.

 

You sound like a good kid.. not wanting to piss off your mom... and wanting to make your girl happy. its hard, but whatever is ment to be, will be...

 

Good luck sweetie.

I wish you the best of luck

 

~~jess

 

[San123]

Yeah I don't have much advice for you but I definitely wouldn't have sex in your room with your mom home...

[DBL]

My mom is evil like that too. She has never liked anyone I brought home, none of them liked my mom very much either. A couple of them actually got in arguments with my mother over how disrespectful my mother can be. To this day I keep telling my mom to just keep her mouth shut. Do not speak of me or the people around me. BUT once a big mouth always a big mouth.

 

Good Luck

DBL

[gracee]

it seems like you've got a protective mom there.anyways, just give your mom a time, maybe she doesn't like you and your gf having sex while she's there or the fact that you're doing it at your home, try to find other place okay?well asked your gf to prove that your mom is wrong, ask your gf to do well in school!

[OceanEyes]

Hi Cory,

 

This situation is familiar to me. I think that mothers, at a certain age, go through some kind of wild hormonal changes that causes them to act out in ways that we just don't understand (menopause? lol).

 

My boyfriend and I are both adults, we live together and pay our own bills. Yet, his mother still has to ride my butt about what I'm doing with my life. Just the other night, we went for a 'family dinner' there (which I HATE), and out of the blue and in front of about 7 people she says, "so what the heck are you doing with your life young lady?". For the first time, I told her that if she wanted to ask me questions like that, to ask me when I am not put on the spot in front of his whole family. I swear that woman is nuts sometimes!

 

Is your mom a rational person normally or is she kind of high-strung? If she's the type that will listen to reason (mine certainly wasn't), then I would suggest talking to her maturely about what happened. Tell her that it really hurt your girlfriend to hear those things, and that you didn't expect it from her. Explain that you have utmost respect for her, that you value her opinions (even if you don't), and that you would really like to find some common ground with her.

 

Your mother will respect you for coming to her and talking to her in a mature way. Sneaking around and having sex in your bedroom is only going to make her very angry, and feel that you and your girlfriend don't have any respect for her, or her house.