DO I LOVE HIM? ! ? ! ? !! ?

[JustBlazeBabe]

I'm 17 and ive been dated all through my teen years. Ive dated all kinds of guys, older guys, younger guys, colege guys, black guys, white guys, good guys, bad guys, you name it. But i would always end things quickly because of one reason or another. Thats until i met my boyfriend now of 10 months..well almost 11. He was a lil bad guy..always gettin into trouble. Im a good girl, But i loooooooved to party. But since we have been together, he hasn't gotten in any trouble with the cops, and he was actually the one begging me not to go out and party so much. We have both made eachother such better people, he motivates me for school, i motivate him for work. And we no longer waste our nights away gettin high or drinking...we spend them together and its so awesome! He is so amazing to me and treats me like gold. and i would do anything for him. Since he is the only guy i have been with this long and havn't shut down right away i have never been in love. And i dont know what it is like to be in love. I love him for shure. But am i IN LOVE? how do i know? or am i just another stupid teenage girl who thinks she is in love. The other thing is we havn't had sex yet, (which some people may have read at an early post..'sex scandal') ...is it possible for 2 people to fall in love without having sex? let me know, and is it to soon to tell him if i am in love with him...

Please help me

I was always the type of girl who never wanted to waste her time being tied down with a guy, i always wanted to live life in the fast lane. But i met him and fell for him hard. so i never really thought about all this love stuff, it basically just hit me outa the blue.

Please help me======got all these feelings---duno what they mean--duno what to do with them!!

please help me---and thank you so much!!!!!!!!

also...how do i know if he loves me.......he always tells me he likes me sooooo much and that he never felt like this before...and a couple weekends ago when we were drinking for our friends b-day he told me he liked me alot...and then whispered i think i love you....was that just the alcohol talking ? how do i know if he feels the same way back???

[Day_Walker]

Its hard for me to believe that at such a young age you can understand the implications of what love actually is. It means different things to different people, but you have to figure out what it means to you and that can only take time and experience. Personally i dont believe in being "in love" it doesnt seem to make any sense to be "in" love with a person then be "out" of love with them later on. It seems way too convient that we created that terminology to suit our needs. All i can say is that you need to come to the conclusion about what exactly love means to you. Its not something that will take 20 mins, it is going to take a long time, not months but years. Dont be consumed with knowing if you really do love this guy, enjoy the time you spend together and have fun.

[JustBlazeBabe]

Dont be consumed with knowing if you really do love this guy, enjoy the time you spend together and have fun.

Thats the best advice you could have given me. thank you. your right i have spent way to much time debating whether im in love with the guy. so not like me. and im still so young, no use wastin this time trying to figure out if im in love with a guy when i still have my whole life ahead of me....i was stressin way to much over the word love....it was just cuz it came so sudden to me, and i usually have control over most things in my life, and this i felt like i didnt... but ya i just wanted you to know your advice really helped me alot! thanks so much! luv ya!

[babydacarilover]

Exactly no need to waste your time when you could be enjoying your time with him. And i also read your other forum "sex scandal" and the fact that he realized he was wrong about the sex topic, and realizing he should respect your morals better, and to top it off he brought you flowers. When he said he loved you after some drinks.....i think it was just the honestly alcohol brings out of people. He said he THINKS he is in love with you, and to me that means he was still sober enough to know what he was saying. He still said he thinks to bare the pain of you not saying it back. maybe by saying it when you guys were a lil tipsy was to test you incase the real thing came up, he was just looking out for his own self dignity. I think you love him too. and i think you should tell him. You guys sound like you have a good relationship for our age. good job. its hard to find a guy who appreciated you for who you are, and go that long wtihout sex. i admire you.

[acts12]

I hate how lightly the word "love" is thrown around by people.

 

People love all kinds of different things. People love their dogs, people love money, people love hobbies...............etc. However there is only one real and true love. If you look at the examples that I just listed, they are all things that people love because of what it does for the person who loves them. Pizza taste good and fills them up, so they love it. People love dogs because it makes them happy. People love money because it can buy them things. However if you notice, all of these things are done out of selfishness. They are done because of what the "subject" i.e. dog, pizza, money, can do for one-self. They love these things out of self-satisafaction. Its all about what the thing that they love can do for them. People do this with all kinds of relationships too. Friends....co-workers...yada yada.

 

You will know true love when you love that person for who they are. All their qualities. Good and Bad. You are not easily angered with this person. ou are patient. The most important thing though is that you are more concerned about what you can do for them verses what they can do for you. That is the key to the whole thing. That is all that matters. It is self-less vs self-fish. Once you do this, then everything else will follow. That is true love.

[JustBlazeBabe]

It is self-less vs self-fish.

I agree with that completely. And believe me i get as much out of this relationship as i give. I do anything and everything for him, and vise-versa. Previous to the 11 months i have been going out with him, i saw him for a good 6 months, and ive been really good friends with him for over 2 years. I know him inside and out. And he is the only person who see's me for me. Alot of other guys just wanted me as their accesory. But this guy is different, (i dont wanna sound like a loser) but we share this crazy connection, we finish eachothers sentences, and always say what the other person is thinking, and even little things like going to pick up the phone at the same time to call the other. And its not like we are a serious couple, you know the type that hermit it up together. i dont wanna sound conceided, but we are both pretty popular, both different crowds, so we are also out alot together with friends and stuff.

 

I just got back from a trip cuba where i was gone for a month with my cousin. And it was the longest month of my life. It should have been the time of my life but all i wanted was to be home to be with my boyfriend. I was constantly sick to my stomach, and layin around thinking about him. It was all this free time i had with mysself that got me thinking so deeply about the topic.

 

To be honest when i wrote in i dont think the question in my head was whether i am in love with him or not. I think it was just me being confussed about why i have such strong feelings at such a young age because i never planned to get serious with anyone until after college, but here i am with the guy i had always dreamed of, he just didnt come at the time i dreamt of. It's almost like i wish i hadn't met him till later in life, then it would have been perfect. Then i would have my last year of highschool goin out clubbin' with my friends and playin their lil hook up games. It's just i see other dieheart girlfriends who cry over their guys everyday because ohh god forbid he talks to another girl. And my best friend is soo wrapped up in her boyfriend she is blinded by the fact he is contantly cheating on her, even though we tell her.

Could it be that im just scared to turn out like some of these girls, or could it be that i picture myself with him for the rest of my life but know its very unlikely considering our age? is this why i am sort of denying the fact i am in love with him?

[acts12]

Could it be that im just scared to turn out like some of these girls,

 

YES. And this is where most girls make the mistake. It is normal to want to give your heart to someone that you love deeply. However, most of the problems will occur when one is more mature than the other and one decides to uncommit. This is usually about 95% of the time the guys fault. It is completely unfair to the girl for a guy to take her heart and leave her. And vice versa. Usually if both people are on the same level then it is fine. However, usually at a young age they are not, and this is when the immature decisions come in. It might be too late for you, but next time, if there is a next time, hopefully there will not be a need for a next time if this one works out, before you give your heart away, you MUST find out the intentions of the other person or one of you will get hurt. It is easy to fall in love. It is blinding and that is why it is so important to keep your eyes open in the beginning. 11 months is past the beginning as the ball is now rolling steady.