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I may sound ridiculous, but I am serious, please help me.

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Ok, here comes my huge story (sorry for my spelling and bad english)...

I am a brazillian guy, 17 years old,


before i start, i'd like to thank you for reading my post, i have had a lot of trouble to post it here


Before i was 10 years old, my life seemed to be completely normal, i had 2 or 3 friends, and that was fine to me, but since i started travelling through the world (after 10 years old), my social life began to be ruined completelly... I thought it was going to be a great experience to myself to live in other countries and such, and it was!! i enjoeyed learning the 3 languages i know by now, and to experience many kind of cultures (i am hoping that there is still more to come)... the problem is that since then, i began to be too shy, i am always afraid to make new friendships because i fear to have to leave the place again and lose that friend.. this started to take place on me... i really couldnt control it.. i think the lastest big friends i had was when i was 13 (really, i do have a very agitated social life online, love my online friends like i would like any friends in RL, and i am very picky when its about friends, but in RL all this changes, i think i am "MORE" me online then offline), ok, now here it comes, since i have limited friends... i started suffering of bullying at school, i was "the odd", "the weird", "the nerd", "the ANTI-SOCIAL" and blah blah blah... I really dont care about this... as i know this didnt affect me in any aspects... unlike others, i am not distorbed.. neurotic nor any of this stuff... Its been years like that, if it wasnt internet i think i would wing the guinnes, for being so isolated since i dont have any RL friends... i also never dated and NEVER KISSED, even lip kisses, and am unable to build a relationship with someone... even if i "try" too... its hopeless... actually, i cant "try to" because that makes me... hmmm... i cant explain... i just know that i cant try... but hey, i really wish i could be different from what i am, people usually think i am too snnobish, that i am bragging about myself, when i start talking of my subjects and experiences, BUT I AM NOT!!! I really wish i could change...

sorry if i made you read this for nothing, by the way... i cant express myself the way i wanted to...


And who cares... that i experienced a lot of things in this world, and know a lot of cultures... when the key that hides the most beautiful secrets of the universe are hidden on our heads... and hearts...


From a Brazillian hopeless 17 childish guy...

funny too

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Its all apart of the process of growth. These feelings are perfectly normal given your situation. It may take time but if you arent happy not being yourself in real life then you should think about what is holding you back from being that person that you are online. This may take a while to figure out, but just realize that you are still young and you are still learning about urself and changes will be happening rapidly in the up coming years. You are the only person who is able to make changes in your life, either you are going to become content and accept the way you are or you are going to make the necessary changes.

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Oh, you brought back memories. I was bullied in junior high school, because I was an outsider. I didn't like the same music as my classmates, and the ones who did the bullying were filthy rich, and I wasn't. I was the "weirdo," the last one invited to parties, rejected by every girl I wanted. Yes, no kisses, other than at those parties where everyone played those kissing games (remember them, folks?)


I think that, even though you say you're OK with it, you're really not OK with it. I didn't accept that I had really been hurt until much later on. You have a right to feel someone has treated you badly if they have, and to feel hurt by it, and to talk to someone about it.


Interestingly, when I went to a different high school, a friend who knew some classmates from my old school told me that a few of the girls in my old class had had crushes on me. (Where was he before?!)


So, first off, don't be so hard on yourself. You write very well, express yourself very well and seem like a sensitive and creative person. And intelligent. You NEVER know how a girl feels about you (or anyone, for that matter) until you connect with them and ask. It's really true that the way you look at yourself affects the way others look at you. So please start liking yourself and get rid of the "No one can like me" attitude. It's just plain wrong and unfair to yourself.


Secondly, you can learn to let other people talk about themselves. On a date, for example, you should talk no more than 40% of the time. Most of what you say should be questions to your friend, and let her tell you all about herself. "Focus outward" should be your rule. I believe that someone who talks too much is basically apologizing for existing, by trying to show that they are really worthy. If they have to try so hard, we begin to doubt. So be more interested in hearing what your new friends have to say than in what you want to tell them.


You can do it.

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I am really happy you people actually read my post (although i was thinking no one would, as its too big ) I would also want to add that yesterday was a really depressive day for me, and i had to do something about it to feel better... as depression may come when we less expect it, i also enjoyed to know that i am not all alone afterall, after this thread i got some YMs, PMs, whatever, from friends and people that i even didnt know.. I will do my best to change the way i am, and try to follow your advices, even when it can be too hard.. talking is not one of my strongest skills.. i am mute almost the whole time, just spying anyways, i avoid to talk... afraid people will think i am snnobish, or because i really dont like the subjects of people at about my age... Or even because i have nothing to say...


Big Deep Thank You!!

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The same thing happened to me when my family travelled around Australia. My brother and I did our schooling through a correspondence school and there weren't really any other people our age around.


When we finally stopped travelling we ended up in a completely different town to where we started and when I decided to go the the local high school instead of continuing with correspondence, I found it very hard to relate to people my age..

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