the saga continues

[MattTheStudent]

So yeah my girlfriend and I broke up like 4 weeks ago. After two weeks of NC she contacted me and we hung out. So that first night after 2 weeks of NC we talked for like 4 hours, went for a hike, and had awesome sex. For the next week, we saw each other for a couple hours almost everyday, and she asked me to spend the night a couple of times. We decided not to get back together yet, and it seems like she keeps going back and forth between wanting to see me and not wanting to see me. We were hanging out the other night and she was like, "We shouldnt be seeing each other at all." Five minutes later she said, "Maybe we should go to couples therapy, and we should spend time together on the weekends so that we can fell good and not have our time together interfere with our schoolwork(we're both in college)." So we made plans to spend the night together Friday night and then do something together over the weekend. I was very excited about just relaxing and hanging out, but then on Friday night she texted me and said, "I don't think we should hang out tonight." That was that- I scrapped my plans and didn't go over to her place. We talked later on that night and she said she needs space and that's she's nervous about getting back into the same old relationship...blablabla. So I said, ok whatever. So then on Saturday she calls me, and I am out of town and she is like, yeah I just wanted to call and see how you are doing, and then she called me again and I didn't answer and then she started texting me last night and I just really don't get this back-and-forth stuff. People say that it sounds like she doesn't know what she wants, and I think maybe I shouldn't even talk to her until she figures it out. This is driving me nuts, starting to feel one way about her and the relationship, and then she changes her mind and it just leaves me holding the bag. Anyway, any help would be greatly appreciated.

[boonpop]

I don't know if this relates to your situation, but let me see if I can make it make sense. I'm dealing with a relationship where I won't speak to this girl for a week, then we talk and hang out. Then three days go by and I don't want to talk, and so on and so on. Now in my situation, I'm dealing with two chicks and that's the reason for the back and forth. My advice to you however, find out the real reason you all broke up because there's something she's not telling you. Either she convinced herself that you are not the one for her and everything from this point is a battle between the mind and the heart, or there maybe another man involved. I hate to have to break it to you like that, but it's usually that simple. A fight between mind and heart is the toughest thing in the world to get through, and if you are the type that likes a little drama in your life, tell her you can't continue with her because you're seeing someone else. That's probably the worst advice I can give someone, but if you do that, look for a confession of the truth on her part shortly afterwards.

[chai714]

This time apart from her is a good opportunity to learn about yourself and the relationship you had. If you really want things to work out, since she suggest therapy why don't you try it out? Your girl is smart in taking time away, not wanting to rush right back into that same relationship that did not work out. Appreciate this time away, and learn from it. If you do not learn anything, this break up will have had been for nothing. I believe that any situation that is bad does have some good in it, although sometimes you just have to dig and it's not always obvious.