She Was Raped....

[Eket]

There's been a girl in my life as of late, she was pretty distant at first. But eventually grew closer to me, and then back away again, closer again. Until yesterday when she finally said something that she trusted me. Of course i wanted to know why now?

 

And then she said what happened to her back in Februari (I've known her however since half august or so). So, of course i didn't know about it. Seriously, that was the hardest thing for me to hear right then. She was really afraid how i'd respond apparently too, immediately saying afterwards. "I am still a virgin ****" It doesn't matter much to me if she were or not, but i agree with her that she still is. Despite that ******

 

Anyways... I told her how sorry i was that, that happened to her, and that i Wish i could have been there for her back then already... I spend the night with her though, making her feel good about herself, and that it wasn't something her fault, that i didn't hold it against her, and that she can trust me to be there for her if she needed to talk about it. I feel it's my duty now to help her... i mean i'm the first guy she's able to be close with again to an extend.

 

But... i said those things to her. But how do i know i'm even Capable enough to support her? I mean i'm having some problems at the moment coping with it myself... she was raped... i wanna find this **** and snap his neck in 6 places, and hang him upside down with his balls caught on a hook or something.... they didn't even catch him... he's walking around freely, and she's traumatized by it. Not to mention the fact her Parents told her she was an accident and that they didn't want her.... money problems.....

 

 

I've been through a lot myself, but this...

 

I don't know how to deal with it myself, and I don't know how i can help her get through this. On top of that i'm currently knee deep in the **** myself... (My mother's cancer came back, for the third time already. Chemotherapy yet again...)

 

Please, help me...

[aquabubbles2001]

It must be so tough for u but please hang in there..

try getting her out more often and hanging out with a group of people..

Usually the rapisits do get of free so u cant do anything about that.. but u can certainly help her self-esteem

[bleeder]

She is in a fragile state now, so do handle her with care especially with the words you use. Being a rape victim, it does indeed take lots of effort and determination on her part to get her life back on track again.

 

As her partner, just be there for her constantly and encourage her with every step of the way. Make her understand that whatever that has happened with her past, is a non-issue with you and what matters now is how the two of you shape the present and future.

 

I am sure that things would work out well for the both of you. As for your mom, I wish her a speedy recovery. Tk care.

[abcd1234]

Im sorry to hear about all that has happened to her. She has confided this in you because she trusts you and knows that you will support her and be there for her. This is a very big step for her and it is now your job to show her that confiding in you was the right thing for her to do. Do this by letting her know that you are going to be there for her even if others aren't, im sure it will make her feel much better about herself.

 

But how do i know i'm even Capable enough to support her?

The fact that you have come to this site to ask for guidance and support in this matter shows us how much you care for her. It is not easy to support somebody in her situation as well as dealing with your own difficulties, but you sound like you are willing to do it. If you believe in yourself then you are capable.

 

I realise that you feel nothing but anger and hatred towards the person that did this to her but you must realise that allowing anger to build up inside you will not help. You need to find a way to channel this anger into helping and supporting her or doing something else productive. If i am feeling a build up of emotion i usually try to take it out on my punch bag or channel it into my work, it helps loads!

 

If you need any more help then please dont hesitate to ask.

abcd1234

[Alabama]

Try to brighten her up more, so she doesn't get so down on her traumitization. You're being there, I'm sure helps her a lot. You're both going through hard times, but you're there for each other. That's the important thing. You can do it. We all have the strength to do things, but we never realize it. Continue to help her, because it's the right thing to do. Good luck!

[Eket]

Thanks for the quick responses... here's an update on the situation..

 

SHe and I talk. But she's a bit distant again, probably because she sees how hard it is for me to cope with it... I'm a selfish ******....

 

Last night i had a nightmare... I was driving in some bus. It was speeding and took a turn and flipped on it's side or something. I could not get out, and in the distance i saw her getting raped... I couldn't get out for some reason. The doors wouldn't open, the windows wouldn't open. I started hitting the windows with my fists, and when i broke through my hands were bleeding like crazy, but i still couldn't get out. The window just replaced itself, and i again starting bashing through it, and again, and again, until i just couldn't anymore.... then i woke up sweating and such... i was hitting the wall next to me it seems, but my hands seem to be alright, hurt a bit...

 

sigh...