I'm so confused while trying to move and almost getting there.....

[sibelius9]

My ex and I try to keep the NC rule to a healthy degree. A week or so and then a friendly checking in through e mail. Suddenly, I respond to her last attempt at emailing me by saying "I really miss you" and she replies by saying "me too...so much so it physically hurts my stomach and all". So we had a good chat, very friendly, and left on a good note. The next day she messages on the chat to bring up a some pending matter we've had about paying something off that we both owe together and to not forget to make the next payment. I said, ok...noted. She was very apologetic for having to remind me about that since it's a materialistic issue and I assured her that there is nothing wrong discussing those things and I thanked her for the reminder.

 

I then proceeded to tell her that I will probably be moving to Norway with an old friend to try something new, since we are both independent now and trying to live our own lives (that's how the "break" we started off on 3 months ago has evolved....not by my choice btw). Suddenly she tells me that news upset her very much and she couldn't chat anymore because she was emotional. I managed to calm her down and convinced her to skype with me and I offered her to stop by Florida to visit her so we can talk about any chance we may ever consider to get back together and she says NO. I cannot go back to you. Don't try anymore, I just want distance, we were miserable (gross over-exageration on her part), etc. etc. You can imagine the rest. She even went on to say that sometimes she utterly hates me.

 

If I'm so hated, why does she miss me? Why does she say "I love you" and then "I don't love you like that anymore", why so upset and shaken up about my move to Norway? She was just as upset when shortly after our break up I came to live in Mexico for a while. For some reason I'm also still her "husband" on facebook and she has not removed a single picture of us as a couple.

 

Any thoughts? I'm pretty sure it's all lost by now I should probably move one. Such a shame...we wanted to get married and I raised her little girl (from a previous relationship) for more than 2 years. I was her daddy. This break was supposed to heal so many wounds and yet it has driven us both mad and everything has been said from "you are my life and a reflection of my soul" to "I hate you...you *******" and everything in between those extremes.

 

Now she emails me a couple of times in the week with phrases that include "miss you like crazy", "it physically hurts every minute of every day to miss you" "please help me with this debt we have whether or not there is any hope of mending our relationship"....I thought she said she could never get back with me again? What is this all about? Any thoughts?

 

Thank you.

[dodgerfan]

dont drive yourself crazy trying to figure out the female brain. Its impossible. It sounds like she's keeping you on a string because she doesnt want to burn the bridge, in case it's convenient to cross it again someday. She might be boosting her own ego too. Dont let her, cut her loose completely.