He slept with other women.

[ccvonlazerbeam]

Our relationship had been rocky for years. I was 22 and he was 25 when he met, im 25 and he is 30 now. Most of our troubles came from his addiction to alcohol and wild dramatic situations.

Lot's of lying on his part. Lot's of verbal abuse. Lot's of suspicion and distrust on my end. We seemed to have moved past most of it but decided to move out into separate homes in February of this year.

It felt good, it felt like we had the time and space to hash things out and weren't always at each others throats. He was sober and things were honestly good.

One night he came to pick me up to take me to his house to hang out with some friends. He was clearly intoxicated. Typically I would lash out and freak out but I simply told him I wasn't going to live like this anymore.

I asked that he drop me off and he left. Sent me many nasty messages about how I was wrong about him etc. calling me names. telling me have fun ****ing so and so. Normal behavior from him when he drank.

My grandmother who had been sick for a week passed away the next day. I tried to call him but he didn't answer. he didn't answer for the 4 days i was calling him before I had to fly to california for the memorial.

This was a woman that he knew. He didn't return my calls for maybe two weeks. I didn't and still don't understand how he could have acted to cruel and completely abandoned me this way.

I found out he had become the Chef of the restaurant he worked at. We still hadn't spoken. about 2.5 weeks after the initial incident in the car he called me. He was beside himself. He may have been drunk.

He was so sorry. I became irate that he thought that this was something I should forgive him for with a simple "I'm sorry". My grandmother was like a mother to me for much of my life. I am still grieving. He was not there for me. At all.

He became upset that I was "still mad" about it. I stopped taking his calls but every day he sent me messages saying he loved me and to please take him back.

Time passed. We saw each other while out one day and decided to talk. There was so much energy between us. It was horrifying. We slept together. something happened that day and we stopped talking for a week.

His uncle passe away, that day I saw him walking in the rose garden crying. It was so strange that we were there at the same time. Anyway, I held him and said how sorry I was for his loss. I was there for him.

I found out he had been fired from his dream job because of drinking. We started seeing each other again. He said he needed help and support to get his life back on track and I chose to give it to him.

He started working for his father and went out of state for a month, came back for a few days and went back for another 2-3 weeks. It was hard being a part but I knew it was temporary.

He started drinking again while he was there and decided to give up, come home, and burn this bridge with his father who has never given him an opportunity like this since.

He said horrible things to me, claimed I was sleeping with other people, told me my parents didn't love. Real ****ed up ****.

I changed my number. every day many times a day I received emails from him asking for forgiveness asking to please help him get help asking to please just respond that he loves me so much and that I am the only thing he ever thinks about and that he was done drinking.

 

we ended up getting back together a few months later. he was so persistent, and I know what you're thinking, "how could you be so stupid?" you're right. I don't know. I've been with many men. And I mean upwards of 50. Ive been in love and been in long term relationships before. I've never felt the way I do about him when things are good. It's this energy that I can't describe. It's like we are sharing something more than a human experience. I know that sounds bizarre but try and relate.

We ended up moving back in about 3 weeks ago. Things have been wonderful. Truly a blessing in both of our lives. We also work together and have a wonderful time being creative in the kitchen at work. We are an amazing team.

A few days ago he accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet. He bought me a new Iphone but it wont be here for a few weeks so I was using his.

My suspicion got ahold of me and I types someone's name in the search bar that I had suspected something of before we first broke up. I mean within those two weeks that he just randomly stopped talking to me. We weren't broken up. there was no closure. there was nothing. it was confusing.

I saw a text to a male friend of his asking him not tell anyone about him and this girl.

My heart dropped. It was from the same time frame. i started to shake and confronted him about it. He denied denied denied. all day. i came home and he denied some more. he was also drunk. eventually he said it. I slept with someone else.

He said it was with her. He was wasted. It was one time and it felt like the worst thing in the world but he was trying to just stop the pain he had constantly. He felt disgusting and wrong in the morning.

I lost it. Asked him to leave. He made me promise him several times i had not been with anyone else when we were apart. how could he lie to me like this?

My mind working the way it does I thought...this isn't it...there's more...

so I wrote someone on facebook I had had suspicions about, knowing very well that I sounded like a crazy person.

She wrote back and verified. 3 times with this girl.

they are both about 21 years old.

He still denied that he even knew this girl but she told me everything. 3 times over the three months we were on and off. It wasn't a one time thing. He had sex with someone who wasn't me 4 times. Several within a week of not speaking to me.

He is so sorry now. He says he didn't want to tell me because he didn't think I'd believe that he is a changed man now. He wanted to keep what we had now and was scared.

First he said it was a one time thing...i started to understand and move on. now i know it was a 4 time thing...I don't know what to do. He is groveling and begging and staying somewhere else. offering to do anything for months or as long as it takes.

I'm completely broken. All I think about is these girls and him...girls who come to the restaurant we work at mind you. girls i have to have conversations with. young, skinny girls who wear a lot of make up and make me feel ugly and worthless.

What am I supposed to do?

I can't afford to break the lease we both just signed, I do not want to give up my job at the best restaurant in town that I completely love, I don't know what to do.

I need some advice from people detached from this crazy situation I have gotten myself into.

Thank you.

[camus154]

Well, you either break up with him and find it within yourself to break the lease and work out all the logistics, or you choose to stay with him and suck it up when he keeps turning out to be the same bad boyfriend he's always been.

 

Those are your only two choices.

[tatis]

I was 22 and he was 25 when he met, im 25 and he is 30 now.

That was what most surprised me. How is that? I can't do the math working