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What would you consider this?

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While my fiance was away for 4 months I went to a party with one of my friends.


She introduced me to one her male friends, that was all enough said. I didn't speak to him, aknowledge him...nothing.


I'd say about 45 minutes after our being there we went outside and sat on the porch (me, my friend and her boyfriend) and then comes the guy she introduced me to he came and sat next to me but we both didn't aknowledge one another. He was just sitting there with his buddies. Next thing I know I turn around and he has his lips pressed against mine. It was a mear millisecond and I pushed away said no got my friend and left.


I didn't make a huge deal about it because it wasn't me and it was just a peck. So I wasn't going to think about telling my fiance. To me it was nothing at all.


Well come to find out, my fiance finds out after we're married. Now he can't trust me, and never believes me. He always tells me to go kiss him again, or he'll say why dont you just be with John. I know this wasn't pleasant for him but really help me convince him that it wasn't me and it wasn't anything. He is so mean about it all the time. He is going away for a year and says he rather divorce me then have to worry. Which he doesn't have to worry, I am not that person all I did was go to a party.......


Help me please

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I remember you on enotalone from a long time ago!


Anyways, sorry to hear of your recent troubles. I think your best bet here is to have the boyfriend of your friend talk to him and tell him the truth, of what he saw that night. Guys will believe other guys but won't believe girls in things such as this, because they think they all look out for their "sisters". The guy isn't going to sit there and lie, he has nothing to gain.


If that is not possible, then you might tell the guy who kissed you to tell your husband that it was 100% him. I don't know really, how else you're going to make him believe you.


How did he find out? Guess you should have told him immediately, but I can see why you didn't.... you were in a tough situation. Unfortunately, this is a prime example of why I never go out without my husband to parties and such. It's simply not worth it. This is exactly the type of horror story I base that personal boundary on. I know it happened before you were married, and now all you can do is try to repair the damage. I know it seems like you're fighting for something you didn't even do wrong.... I am so sorry!


I hope you can get one of those guys to talk to him. I really think that's your only hope if he truly doesn't believe you. It sounds like he's seriously upset or he wouldn't be freaking out so much.

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I am going to be blunt here, forgive me.


Your husband is being a jerk. This is something that happened before you were married and he's saying he might divorce you over it? I'm sorry, xoxoxo21, but that's plain ridiculous!


The party incident wasn't your fault. It was something that happened as the result of someone else's lack of class and boundaries. It wasn't something you chose or wanted and it was perfectly reasonable to keep it to yourself.


My advice to you would be to stop worrying about the party incident in itself and look closer at your marital relationship, because that is a far bigger problem here.


**BTW, why is he leaving you alone so much? Just curious...

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It appears as if your husband had other issues with you long before this "accidental kiss?" ever happened. He seems like an insecure guy, being that he would go as far as get a divorce because he's leaving for one year.


You should not allow your husband to make you feel bad about this. Number one, you didn't even participate in this kiss. I'm sure the guy who tried to kiss you feels like an idiot, cause you just got up and walked off. Why is this so hard for your husband to understand? Because he has issues. If he can't get past this, it's HIS problem, not yours. You did nothing wrong. Actually, you did the right thing. If he doesn't see this, then it's HIS problem.

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I agree that xoxo's husband has trust issues with her and needs to address those. Perhaps marital couseling will bring out his true fears and insecurities and she can help him with those.


Don't give up xoxo.... try to solve this problem and move forward, don't let something like this break you two up. You are newlyweds, the first few years are always the hardest.


I agree he must be really stressed or worried about something else in general. It is bigger than just hearing about the kiss.


However, I just suggested you have one of the guys talk to him because it might get him into a more relaxed position to actually listen instead of accuse, which it seems he is more inclined to do right now.


Good luck!

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