Typicaly adjusting at the 3 month mark..

[Smusher]

Yes I think i am just typical. After reading numerous posts and comenting here and there, i see that I am just like plenty of good people out there. I am turning 30 soon. Have been engaged once for 2 years, broke up, recovered, Started another love affair, tried not to get too attached, did, and by the time i was ready to give in to her (after I broke IT OFF TWICE)

she had had enough and propmtly found another.

Now at the three month mark I have come a long way only to realize all over again that i wished i wasnt scared to give in to her. I wished i didnt view her needyness, obsessiveness and her quick attachment to me as a bad thing, was with her for a year and a half. My posts tell the story, well part of it, from my perspective. Of course you dont get to hear her side except perhaps in other forms on this and other sites like it. many perspectives that i read on here posted by women reflect her side and to some degree "our story" the typical parts anyways.

just havin a hard few nights.

its cold outside

and im just not too cheerful.

[Mjane]

Hey smusher,

The first thing I noticed about your post is the words "give in to her."

I don't know what you are talking about, but wowa, what a negative phrase. If you are talking about a long term commitment, if you are thinking of it in those terms, well I sure wouldn't want you. When you decide to marry a gal you had better be excited and think of it as the beginning of a new phase in your relationship, not some kind of prison sentence or demand you are giving into.

Perhaps what you haven't admited to yourself is these ladies weren't the right ones for you. I've dated guys who were REALLY into me and ones who were just into me. And you can tell the difference. Some guys make you feel insecure because they never tell you how they feel about you (probably because they don't feel much). Other guys can't express themselves very well, but will tell you by actions, so you aren't totally in the dark.

There is nothing wrong with getting freaked by someone who gets attached to you right away and becomes needy, possessive etc. Those aren't very good character traits. If anything they point to an insecure person. Although perhaps you are a bit standoffish, which can make any girl wonder how you feel about her, which can make her insecure... see a pattern here?

When guys get REALLY into me right off the bat, I'm suspicious and it's a huge turnoff because I know they are into my looks or my confidence or something like that rather than ME because there is no way they can know ME after a handful of dates. And I'm at the stage in my life where I'm looking for a man who wants to get to know ME just like I want to get to know Him.

Good luck.