My boyfriend is a hopeless romantic! Help!

[brwneyedwoman]

Hi, i'm so very lost and very frustrated, you see i've been with my boyfriend for 5years now and he is not romantic at all he trys but he just has no clue and i'm very romantic and very sensual i've tryed to show him what i want but he doesn't seem to pick up on it or just likes the easy way of making love alittle foreplay and then penetration and it's over. I have never ever had an orgasm with him at all. On my own yes all the time it's just it's not the same i need that closeness that intimate strong desire and passion and with him it's just not there anymore. We have talked about it over and over again and nothing has changed i feel my only answer to all this is to move on and find a man that can fullfil my desire, wants and needs totally. What do you suggest i do i'm so upset half the time i give into him so his needs are met but then i wish i hadn't and then i just cry with frustration and hurt. Every time! I will look forward to your reply please help me deal with this? brwneyedwoman

[magpie]

there is a word to describe men like your boyfriend: JERKS. you have been with him HOW LONG? and he hasnt helped you achieve orgasm yet? and youve explained what you want and need, and still nothing? he obviously doesnt care so long as HE gets satisfied. My suggestion is to stop giving till you get something in return. no more giving him head, no more unfulfilling sex. if he cant be bothered to make you enjoy sexual encounters, then you should not do it for him. i would guess that his selfishness goes much deeper than this. does he help you if you need a favor? does he give you a backrub with out having to be asked? does he offer words of affection without being prompted? id guess no. and the reason is that he is taking advantage of you, and it sounds like you have let him. you have assumed your role and have not demanded the attention, affection, and gratification you deserve. start demanding that your needs be met. and until he does, i wouldnt even bother putting in the effort to meet his. if seeing what its like to be on the other side doesnt help him to change, i suggest finding someone who treats you the way you treat them: like the important loved one you ought to be.

[SwingFox]

Hi brwneyedwoman,

 

First of all welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for coming to us for seeking advice. I am sorry to hear that you feel very uncomfortable in your relation. I understand that your b/f is not in any way helping you and tries to meet your needs and desires.

 

In your post I read that you have pretty much made up your mind. I tend to agree with your suggestion, because it looks like that you have tried pretty much everything else. You do have needs and if basic needs are not being met, then how does that reflect on the rest of your relationship and in future? What is it going to be like in your future with this man. I am not saying leave or stay in this relationship, but it's always a good thing to evaluate.

 

I hope that this will help you in making the right decision that will work for you and wish you good luck.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[brwneyedwoman]

First and foremost Magpie i want to thankyou for your advice and to let you know you have hit the nail right on the head. He is an only child and was very spoilled so he only thinks of himself most of the time. If he is not the one with all the attention then he gets mad and sulks like a child. Don't get me wrong he doesn't cry but he is just a jerk about it. He wants all the attention, if he doesn't get noticed or the conversation is not about him and his stories he will turn the conversation so it's all about himself. I'm just so damn fed up with all this shit. I really need to get out. Swingfox i thankyou also and please know that i have no intentions of marring this guy at all, he is not for me and i sure is hell am not going to send my life with a self centered guy that only thinks of himself and i'm just there for convience for him. But not anymore. I plan to move out soon and get my own place. I need freedom and independance. AHHH i can smell freedom now i can't wait. I don't think i will ever live with another man again! If i do i think he will have to be pretty darn special and we must be married before i live with another man again. Thanks again to you both for all your sound advice, i appreciate it honestly i do. All my love

brwneyedwoman