A Way To Break Free...

[gwynna]

I have this little war going on inside me right now.

 

Half of me is jaded by the complete uselessness of dating, and is convinced that I'm not ready for someone to get close enough to me that I feel something. That half is the one that reminds me how hurt I've been by men in the past and how difficult it is to believe that anyone can be attracted to me. I just am not the type of girl men fall instantly in love with, and no one has ever been patient enough to stick around and find out if I am at all.

 

The other half is my romantic idealist side. The one that wants to eventually find love, and passion and follow all of the avenues that lead to such wonderful places. I tend to love everyone I meet...not in a romantic sense of course, in the respect that I see the best in everyone, but it means that when someone hurts me it does more damage than anyone imagines. So needless to say, when I date someone, my heart gets involved REALLY fast (and no, I don't tell them that), and when it's over it slams me to the ground.

 

I haven't been on a date in close to 4 years. I've been interested in men, but then my little holy war starts and I just don't do anything, I can't make up my mind.

 

I'm a really fantastic person. I make friends easily, I am intellegent, charismatic and funny. But I tend to use sarcasm as a defense mechanism. I'm interesting looking, not ugly, not gorgeous, and like most women, have a skewed body image.

 

I just can't seem to break down the walls I've built against falling for someone again. And recently, I've found I really want to. It's not for one guy in particular, more because my life is so good right now, but for this one exception. I'm genuinely happy, but I want something more than work and courses and nights spent wanting companionship.

 

Sorry, the post was so long...

Gwynna

[Empathy]

If you continue to convince yourself that you're not ready then you never will be. The fact that your're expressing a desire to find love again is one sign that you're ready. The only way you can break free is if you allow yourself to do so.

[CarterJonas]

At least you have now acknowledged that you are willing to have a relationship with the right guy. I think that there is always a chance of getting hurt when dating, but in the end if you want companionship it is a chance that all of us has to take.

 

You already have the qualities to meet new men so all you need to do is to open up to the idea of a new boyfriend.

[Starkitty]

Wow thats exactly my problem!! Even the 4 years! I feel the same I distrust guys because I've been really hurt in the past and most guys seem the same. I'm feeling really miserable about it now because I want a boyfriend so much! Just go for it with the next nicest guy you like! Otherwise your gonna be afraid forever! All guys are @ssholes, you just gotta pick the best @sshole you can find!

[paulo ribeiro]

All guys are @ssholes, you just gotta pick the best @sshole you can find!

 

Not all guys are idiots... Maybe you just haven't found the right guy yet.

[Starkitty]

I hope ur right paulo ribeiro!

[Empathy]

Hmmmm.... I don't knooooooow...It really does seem that right down to the core all guys are @ssholes. Well at least every guy I've ever met. Even my friends. I only hang out with guys. I get a long with them better, but I still think they're @ssholes. I guess I can only hope that I'm wrong too.

[paulo ribeiro]

Hmmmm.... I don't knooooooow...It really does seem that right down to the core all guys are @ssholes. Well at least every guy I've ever met. Even my friends. I only hang out with guys. I get a long with them better, but I still think they're @ssholes. I guess I can only hope that I'm wrong too.

 

Why do you think that?...

 

Maybe I could say the same thing about girls. But no one can make the assumption that everyone is the same!

[gwynna]

So even with my doubts and reservations I should just find someone and go for it? I don't know about that...

 

Anyway, as for all guys being @ssholes, that's not true. I have male friends, and only a couple of them are at times. And I'm essentially positive about others finding people, I just can't seem to get over myself enough to let myself go.