i feel so numb

[usied]

i have been good mentally for awhile now, had been suffering from severe depression due to my mother leaving my family and her and my father getting a divorce and then a break up...but a sought help and i was doing well for the longest time. starting my life ...but now im at a standstill again, i dont know what to do with myself...i feel so numb..i have always had problems with friends ..i would always loose them after so long..and this makes me feel so horrible like something is really wrong with me..cuz people get sick of me so fast ..cuz im too good of a friends or something and get annoying...thats how i see it anyhow...i just dont know i cried all night ...yet now i dont feel anything...i had a new job that was driving me insane back into my depressed state where any little thing could bother me...so i quit and i have yet another job interview today ...but im not anxious nervous or anything...its so weird because i am such an emotional person...so easily hurt yet so easily pleased....and i dont have health insurence as of my 19th birthday so i cant afford to go to my ''shrink'' any longer ..so if anyone has been where i am and give me hope..it would mean soo much!

[MattTheStudent]

Two years ago I was broke and in a mental ward because I had hacked my wrists to bits and electrocuted myself. Now I'm in school, I have a new car, and I'm doing well. I did it all myself- I did have the emotional support of my family and friends- but I made all my own money and I rebuilt my life from the ashes of lifelong depression. Good luck, hang in there, and never hesitate to talk about your feelings. Just think, if this is as bad as it can get, then things will only be better from here friend.

[aprildawnrules]

This is a tough issue, but I know how you feel. I have a friend problem too. Every friendship I have had has ended badly and I was always friends for them for years. The problem was that I valued our friendship much more then they valued mine. It's terrible but some people don't value things like that. People seem to be more into themselves and sometimes forget that there are other people in the friendship. As for the depression, happiness sometimes isn't a condition it is a state of mind. I had a huge problem and I lost everything in my life. I wanted to numb my pain and I did it in a very harmful way. I found myself in a mental ward from an over dose. I didn't mean to over dose but it happened. The problem was with me. I kept thinking of sad things and feeling sorry for myself, then I realized on my own that I could change everything. I am now in school studying to become a therapist to help people. You might want to research finding a free clinic to go and talk to someone. You can also email me anytime, I will try and help you whenever I can, even if you just need to vent. There are people out there that care, please don't give up hope.

[usied]

yea..thanks alot guys! im feeling better these days ...you just always have to realize that there is hope there and things will look up eventually...and yes there are people out there that dont care as much as i do ..but im not going to change i know i am a good person and if they dont appreciate that and use it to everyones advantage ...thats not my fault...but things will be ok ...and u can turn things around, and learn from mistakes! its good to know that there are people who care out there though...