Does The Rules and similar techniques work?

[Luciana]

If anyone has read "The Rules" and "Why men love (PROFANITY DELETED BY MODERATOR)", you know what I am talking about.

My question is: do these techniques work?

[sexyblondie]

I read "The Rules" and I think it is a great book, but I dont follow it exactly cuz there need to be exceptions sometimes. Cosmopolitan also has some good articles. Acting like u dont like a guy isnt exactly what its about, eventually if a guy really really likes u but u keep rejecting him or he knows u dont like him he will move on. But developing a good relationship based on love, and a deep connection is when you know it will last.

Guys need space, and so do most girls. By constantly calling, being available, and predictible a guy will lose interest, so will girls. I once dated a guy that was soo into me he made me sick and theres no way i could feel attracted to him. He was constantly calling, wanted to see me everyday the whole day, and he even admitted he had not much of a life, thats not exactly a turn on LOL.

A good relationship, is based on two people who love each other, but have there own life, and their own space.

[shes2smart]

RE: The Rules.

 

Read the book in, oh, 97-ish. It alternately pissed me off and made me think "so that's what I've been doing wrong!"

 

There were, however, 2 valuable things I picked up from the book:

 

1. "NEXT!" - if you read the book, you know. If he's not treating you well at the start (i.e. - being considerate, listening to you, calling when he says he will, etc.) he's not going to improve over time, and you need to move on to the NEXT! one.

 

2. Don't sacrifice your life for this man or any man -- maintain relationships with your girlfriends and stay active in your career and hobbies....don't let him dictate what you're going to do with your time and life because you will wind up regretting it.

 

I wouldn't look at it as any sort of bible or anything -- just the 2 (female) author's opinions on male/female relationships. There was a lot of it I disagreed with either in theory or because they suggested doing things I simply wouldn't do because they felt too much like game playing and phoniness to me. But, as I mentioned above, it did have some valid points, too.

 

By the way, one of the authors made the news a few years back because she was getting divorced. If you ever needed proof that "The Rules" might be better called "The Suggestions" I think that's it right there.

 

As always, it is our own inner voice and higher wisdom that has our answers, our truth and our "rules"....any time you ignore that innate knowledge in favor of forces outside of yourself, you hand over some of your power and limit your potential.

[Mun]

Hi Luciana,

I think you should stop knocking yourself down because you made some relationship mistakes in the past. We have all done that.

 

What you can take away from the books is this : a woman must not persue a man or beg and plead for him to stay when he wants to leave. She should keep her dignity always and never be a doormat to anyone. Never settle in a relationship--If something smells wrong then most likely it is rotten.

 

I think that in this day we women are very driven and used to making things happen. We are strong and we can make things happen at work, we can make things happen at home...So we wonder: Why can't I make this relationship work?.. well for starters he may not be the right guy for you.

 

A friend of mine suggested.. What if after you change your attitude he doesn't respond".. I told her: Honey then it's time to get a new man. Like the book says: NEXT! ...I think about it in practical terms... Would you keep investing in a business that is not giving you any return?

 

I think a man who cares more about getting his own needs met above yours does not a good boyfriend make...or a good husband for that matter.