Anyone in a similar situation?

[jnelson]

Anyone been in a similar situation?

 

Alright...quick version...was with gf (now ex) for nearly 5 years...we go to different schools a long way apart...first two years of university we did long distance....end of last school year we broke up (me being an idiot - didn't cheat or anything)....spent last summer in different cities, saw each other about 5 times the entire summer (I stayed with her for a few days, she visited me a couple of times).....intimate when we saw each other....last month or so of summer I decide enough is enough, I can't keep being friends with her when I actually want more...do no contact.....day before I fly back to school girl calls tells me 'she loves me, misses me and wants to do it right this time'....I get to school, we talk on msn, she calls etc....she flies out to come and see me for a long weekend...things go great..the whole time we have been at school we have got along great..when she came to visit me it was just like we were together...

 

fast forward....its been a couple weeks since she was here...the other day I asked her what was going on...told her I didn't want to get my hopes up (reconciliation) only to be disappointed....she told me she didnt want that either but she doesnt think we will be together at all during university (we have the rest of this year and next year left)....says she wants a bf she can see whenever she wants, something 'real' not just the internet or phone....this kind of surprised me since the last two years we were together she always said distance wasn't the problem...she said that she loves me and would love to be together under 'normal circumstances' - (in the same town)....so what happens now...things were great when we were friends the last month or so but that was only because I thought we were going to get back together sometime soon....now that she is telling me we won't be together, I don't really see a point in maintaining a friendship without any sort of commitment....

 

- we have been broken up for 7 months....

 

anyone else in a similar situation? what have you done or what would you do? Keep in mind that I do really want to be with this girl....

[russia]

even if you want to be with her, she probably wouldn't want you anymore, since you were the one who broke up with her. 7 months on, she probably has another boyfriend already.

 

if distance wasn't the problem in the past, it certainly is now. and that's not hard to understand, cos until you have been close to someone, you never know the feeling. and once you have been close, you don't want to part again.

 

she's just being sensible about that. which means you are not really that important to her cos if you are, the distance and waiting wouldn't matter although you have been close and long for that closeness all the time

[popo]

jnelson,

 

i've been in ur gf position. i was so frustrated with LDR. i asked my bf (now, ex) to reconsider about our relationship which i thought most of the time didnt work. phone and internet werent good enough. i thought also to break up with him. but he refused that over and over again saying we were strong, we could through this, etc. well he was good at it. i could never b able to reject him.

 

i'm not saying u arent important for her. but russia has a point. not everyone can get through LDR. it needs a lot of efforts. 7 months of waiting, u do what u have to do. u cant force someone to b with u. now stop thinking about ur past and try to look to the future.

 

about friendship, if u dont wanna b her friend then dont. it's nothing wrong about it. she'll understand. tell her u need time to get over her.

 

btw, what did u do during those 7 months to get her back?