Wife's Sex Drive

[johnyblaze]

Hello all. My wife normally has little if any sex drive. Last night out of nowhere she decided to show me porn on the computer. We proceeded to watch for awhile and then had the best sex i can recall in our relationship. I am wondering why out of the blue she decided to become kinky? We have had a few rough patches but she has made an effort to be more sexuall as of late. I NEED to know any tips to keep the sex life spicy. Any ideas how to keep the good times rolling? Im a little worried this wont last. Thanx

[CRCfem]

Wow, lucky wife to have you willing to play game, although admittedly this whole thing took you by surprise! I think it's good she has decided to include you in her fantasies! I can talk for myself, I am less attracted to a man who seems a little too desperate to have me, although a man who shows that he wants a woman badly is a good thing!! she will be flattered! Just enjoy nd go with the flow.. I think she made this first step, and probably expects you to not be passive about your sex together..

On the same time, I woner whether she has someone else on the side who has able to turn on her flame? No disrespect, just plodding.. Anyhow, you are lucky to be in the position that she wants to touch you, from my experience, if I don't fancy a man, I cannot let them into my mind like that (or my body hah)

[johnyblaze]

Thanx CRCfem. My wife has always been the one who likes to be in controll in the sack. My sex drive is above and beyond hers for sure. Windering if i should pursue this with my own sexual advances or let her take the reigns. As you said i dont want to seem desperate for sex or scare her away from trying new things. At the same time i dont want to ignore her new kinyness and let it slip away. We havent had the best sex life to date and im tryn to ensure more of this in the future.

[johnyblaze]

I suppose i should add that after i had gone to sleep she continued to look at porn lol she has never really checked out porn before so i really dont mind. It was funny to turn on computer this morning and see porn on the screen lol

[CRCfem]

That is sweet. Since you say she is the one who likes to take control in the bedroom, maybe you can ask her (in an admiring way) what is she into exactly! She should give you some clearer hints then.. I think anyway that a casual touch here and there, not necessarily in a sexual way, but you know, 'by accident', a little bumping into, or a little soft squeeze, or cuddle her behind her back while she is in the kitchen, whilst you two talk or do smth else and do about your life ,something light, can let her know that she is wanted by you.. and in turn she might jsut fire up and open up even more.. bodylanguage works in mysterious ways, especially in these 'sexy matters'!

[laninaperdida]

I hate to generalize, but women tend to lose their desire to **** physically whereas men tend to lose their desire to **** emotionally.

 

Your wife has made a great effort to improve your sex life so maybe you should do the same, yet the opposite?

**** her emotionally, lol.

Buy her a gift.

Take her to a dinner.

The thing that's probably the most likely to turn her on is to TALK to her.

(A serious, attentive convo without using 1 word answers.)

Men like sex.

Women like being taken care of.

If you return the effort she's putting in I think you're going to go through a very happy phase,

[johnyblaze]

Thanks alot CRCfem. Great advice. I will be subtle as you suggested and hope it continues. Its a little weird for me because im the one who takes charge in all previous relationships, but fingers crossed lol

[johnyblaze]

I have been spoiling her lately with lots presents. Maybe thats why? Lol good point

[FreeFallFeelin]

You could also encourage her "newly found" source of sexual inspiration by buying her a porno movie ...or three. You might find out a lot more about her fantasies by seeing what she reacts to or emulates from the pornos. Just an idea! You lucky dog

 

As a side note, I doubt that your wife is just now discovering porn or developing a "kinky" side. More likely she's always had those impulses but doesn't know how to communicate them. Praise her not for being "kinky" but for opening up to you even more.

[spectacular]

I have been spoiling her lately with lots presents. Maybe thats why? Lol good point

 

 

yes, woman need a little more "mental stimulation" then men do. Excitement comes in all forms. If your close to a body of water. Take her for a ride, if you have a tv in her car. make the car the "Drive in". and then..."Drive it in...lol".

 

Sounds like you to need to verbally communicate a little more. But if she's in to porn. Get creative with it. Get home before she does one day. have a box at the door for her. give her instructions on what to do. Ex: come to the room. Take off your clothes, etc.

Then, in whichever room you decide...set it up. Candles, raunchy items, the whole nine. Then be behind the door when she comes in. and blindfold her. lay her down...and then whatever you do with her sexually...incorporate a "bullet" into your action. It takes it up a few notches.

 

The point. every week do something minor that she will never expect.

[johnyblaze]

Great ideas spectacular... But i do have a two year old so not exactly pheasable. Lol but i will try to surprise her with something