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Did i do the right thing...

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Ive posted a few times b4 on here..

Was having communication problems with a guy im seeing,recently tho he had been offish with me kinda distancing himself ignoring my calls.

He opened up eventually said he was depressed due to his career kinda crumbling.Hes working with a new manager now so hes getting back on track.

He said hed like to see me ,so i went over for the evening..it was really nice and we kinda did end up getting intimate.


I left that night he said 4 me to call him or he will call me.

I did this ,i called,i tried..he doesnt answer his phone...i leave it a few days and try again,still no answer,i txt..nothing..

I thought to myself i cant believe this ,this guy has absolutely no consideration or repect for my feelings ..it kinda hit me like a truck..ive been here 4 this guy for such a long time....it dawned on me that there is noway he could possibly feel anythin 4 me anymore..


I cried 4 ages after this realisation and sent a txt tellng him that i cant put my self thru this anymore...

It hurts me so much to walk away from him,i kno hes been hurt alot in the past,..but there is really nomore i can do is there..?


I wanna b free from the emotional battering this puts me thru..Ive never cried over a man as much as this ever b4.

After ive been there so much 4 him for ages now.

i want to believe that it would hurt him to lose me and that he may begin to show me he can make more of an effort 4 me...


Im scared that ill regret walking away and feeling guilty that if i loved him i woulda jus stuck around..I really do care and love him but its really hurtin so bad to love him ..


I have done the right thing...right?

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I was through a similer expirence recently. the way I got over it was to keep promising my self that my Girl was alot happier without me. I still feel for her and were still very good friends, and I will always be there for her. I think you sorta did the right thing, but you should still talk to him and you can still be there for him. Maybe he is really going through troubled times and would like to still be friends, I don't know. All I know Is If you really love him then you will still be friends with him, and in the future you and him might be able to get together.

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Thanx sankin,

The thing is i feel like he even has no respect 4 a friendship...weve been to close to just go to platonic friends.

I would love to say to him,no matter what ill be there 4 u,but at the same time i feel like i maybe downgrading myself coz i kinda feel he couldnt recipocate that.

i do love him alot..To get on that friends level i feel i have to really cut off from him,then literally hope hed like to be friends later when im healed ..


At tho mo i feel like im the bad person in all of this.

Alot of people have said to me ,he treats u the way u allow him to treat u...'

I dont want him to treat me like im a nothing,right now i feel like hes downgrading every feeling and emotion we ever shared..

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Well your life is your own, everyone always tells me. So I will tell you the same. No one can tell you what to do, you have to make up your own mind, you can either accept what has happened, or not. I wish I could say more to make you feel better, but all I can tell you even though it might not be true is that "it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." Though if you can still remain friends then you will never have really lost at all. Remember these words and spread them to others who might need to hear them that will be all the thanx that I need.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I feel so close to calling him,..im not sure wether i should or not..


Ive feel like i need for HIM to tell me we are thru...right now im jus presuming he no longer gives a damn coz hes so distant...


Would i appear weak to to back on my word?

Him not getting intouch....Does this mean that Hes glad ive taken the hint ,and doesnt care...


Am i jus in denial ,im so confused...


Any other views would be appreciated if you can..

many thanks

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DON'T DO IT! I know how strong that urge is but don't do it. You will regret it because most likely he won't respond and you will feel worse.


The feeling you're having is the feeling of wanting to contact him so he will respond. But he hasn't done so far so he won't now. He knows where you are, he can call if he wants to.


There's much more chance he will buck up his ideas if you just vanish off the face of the earth.


I know you feel like you need relief but don't do it.


I contacted my ex by text message last week, got no response, and then tried by phone four days later, no response.


And I can't do anymore - we just end up lookintg like fools and that is NOT attractive.


He knows you've called, he's got your message.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I called...

I guess u could say i made excuses for him and myself..

For two dayz i pondered on the though of hmmm..would i really care that much if he didnt answer..i actually felt that...i wouldnt ...as i was so used to being blanked.

i thought aftr the txt i sent him ,i felt bad..i wanted him to kno dat i wasnt angry ...i wanted to make the call to help me move on in someway...


HE ANSWERED...BUT....he seemed very distant ,shut off,told me it was ok for me to call him an that hes was always about....didnt talk about us..i kinda stayed clear of that...

All the same, he wasnt the guy i thouht i knew ,normally a very vibrant kind of guy,..At the end of the call i jus said well im gonna love u an leave u(wat i say to everyone!)..so keep intouch ok...he said definitely...he also told me to keep intouch..IT FELT SO FINAL..


I came off feelin better at that point..hmm..mayb even knumb...Then it hit me..DID HE ONLY ANSWER COZ HE FELT GUILTY..This call was jus over a week ago ....And now i still miss him bad,...i still cant make ahead a taile of anythin...

Im left to still assume...

This has all happened ever since his music career came crashin down..things were ok b4 this...


Is he jus takin it out on me...Theres so much left unsaid...

Do i keep intouch (minimul) like we agreed,or did he jus say that for the hell of it....

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I really wish I could help you more, but I don't know much about the situation, maybe if I had more information, my knoledge would be better explained, but from what I know right now, all I can say is to just be friends, stay away from the subject of you two together(and othersuch things as like friends that are together)for a while,just call him sparingly and then just as friends. but I cannot tell you what to do. your life is your own and you have complete control over it for better or worse, the sooner that you realise that the better you will feel.

your friend for as long as we know eachother


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