IS HE CHEATING? I'm going mad, or am I?

[maynards_razorblade69]

Ok, I can't stop shaking so this might be a bit weird.

I went out with my boyfriend for a year and a half, during which time he cheated on me with my best friend. After that I couldn't trust him with girls again, ever. Eventually I learnt to trust him outwardly, show that I didn't mind when he went off with them, but inwardly it was killing me, it hurt me so much.

Well, I was talking to his BEST girl friend, and his BEST boy friend tonight and they both told me the same thing.

That he fingered this girl called Abi a year ago, when we WERE going out, that he snogged this girl called Becky the other night, that he kissed this girl and that girl blah blah. Well, anyway, I wanted to kill myself with the pain that I was going through, I still do actually.

So I phoned up my boyfriend and he point blank said it was lies and they were making it up to break us up, and he couldn't think of a reason why.

Why though, would his best friends make up something like that when they don't even know me?

He never allowed me to meet them, ever, because maybe he was doing things in that time that I wouldn't have approved of. I don't know but I can't stop shaking and crying and feel like killing myself.

I don't know who to believe. There are five people telling me it's true yet my boyfriend tells me it's untrue and I don't know who to believe.

Considering my boyfriend has a history of cheating and lying to me about what he does...I'm veering towards believing his friends. But I don't want to because I love my boyfriend so much.

I don't have any self respect at all, I really hate myself and can't see why my boyfriend would want to go out with me, so every time I hear something like this I hate myself and think they're all better than me and why should I expect him to be loyal to someone like me? But underneath that upset and pathetic exterior there IS a tiny voice telling me that I am what I am, that I'm not ugly, not stupid, that I'm a nice person. But then I slip into depressed mode and think, why should I be thinking that? Then I try to stop being so bigheaded.

This girl says on MSN tonight: "I got summit to tell you but I don't want you to hate me, your boyfriend or Abi (this girl he "Fingered"). She tells me anyway, tells me all that and I'm literally stuck to my seat, not wanting to believe it, wanting to cry, wanting to scream and shout but stay silent and all the while wishing it wasn't happening.

I just want to know...the TRUTH.

Please could someone out there tell me what I should do?

Please, I feel really weird, like nothing ever really mattered.

Lottie

xxx

PS: I'm also seeing a councillor to try and stop my jealousy and loss of trust and all that

[AlleyCat]

Wow, if you had issues with jealousy before, this is enough to make anyone afraid to trust someone... I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

 

If he hadn't already cheated on you, and it had only been the two friends telling you this, I would think that there was a possibility that he was telling you the truth and his friends were just trying to break you two up. Do you know of any reason they would want to do so?

 

However, since 5 people have told you this, and he's exhibited similar behavior in the past, I tend to think it's true.

 

This guy is not good for you, and you'll never resolve your trust issues if you stay with him. I suggest getting out of this relationship as soon as possible. It is completely normal to be upset about this, but keep in mind that he's the one at fault here, not you.

[maynards_razorblade69]

Thank you to both replies!

You've both helped me, but I still have one question...

WHAT IF HE IS TELLING THE TRUTH? Maybe his friends know that he cheated on me once and, for some reason, reckon they can do it again? IF he's telling the truth and we break up over it, it's really unfair.

BUT...why would his best friends do that to me? I mean, they don't know me, obviously the girls know what it's like to be cheated on and how much it hurts and that a girl likes to know the truth about things. But if they're his best friends, what kinda friends are they? I believe he really does care a lot about me, and they know he does, so they would know how much it would hurt him if he broke up with me.

PLEASE help again. He also sent a text message to this Abi girl saying, "I do like you, I just need some time to get over Lottie first..." or something along those lines. She then replied, "If you're going to ask me out I'll say yes..." blah blah and it hurts. I can't describe the pain but it's like a drawing, butterfly ache in my stomach and it draws tears out my eyes and I haven't stopped shaking for three hours now. What's wrong with me?

Lottiexxx