What can I do, do I just have to wait for her to contact first?

[Technoboy]

Ok, so I've posted on here before, and have gotten good advice. I thank you all for your contributions

 

So the last time I posted, my ex had texted me while drunk, 3 months after the breakup (this was in march). Since then, there has been no contact from either side. I've done all I could to try erase her from my mind and better myself. I've lost 20 lbs (first time I've ever seen my abs, so that's a plus), and I've taken all the steps to avoid reminding myself of her, including avoiding fb and unsubscribing to her. I've already started dating again and just generally enjoyed my life, just as you guys and many other sources have advised me to do.

 

Well it's been since January that she broke up with me, already nearing July. But as much as my life is going good, I'm just not all that happy. There are nights where I still think of her despite my best efforts to ignore feelings. Even dating some of the hottest girls doesn't make me happy. I always end up finding too much things I don't like about said date. I tend to still compare girls with my ex constantly in my head. I'm not really picky, but there are key points I look for in women that no one seems to fulfill no matter how hard I look. Quite frankly, I feel like dating is just too much work, and I feel like just giving up. My ex was everything I looked for and more, and I guess I just can't shake this feeling. Since the break up and to this day, I still have dreams about her. Whether it be just seeing her, begging her to come back to me, us still dating, or nightmares of seeing her with other guys or her telling me off.

 

I just want to start talking to her again, and try see if there still is any feelings from her side. I mean, she talked to me before, albeit drunk, but it's still better than nothing. Mind you the conversation was anything but friendly. Keep in mind, she can't text me (long distance charges) since she's currently at home, accross the country, and isn't back in my city until September. Do I really just have to wait for her to initiate conversation? As patient as I am, and as much as I've tried to move on, there's just no getting over her. What do I do? If it be to continue NC, then what? I'm sick of trying to find a new girl, none of them meet my standards, and even if they do, they aren't interested. I do everything I love to do already; sports, weight lifting, going out Friday nights, and just being around friends. Nothing really helps me, it's only temporary. I want her back, and I can't do anything about it.

[transmit]

First of all you need to get it out of your head that reuniting with your ex would restore your happiness. This is almost definitely not true. And if it IS true, ask yourself if she'd appreciate you putting that sort of burden on her (and how long that would last).

 

It sounds like you're doing great so far with being social and getting in shape, and you should keep it up. If you can't help but compare every girl to your ex, though, you're probably not ready for a relationship yet. That can take time, and it doesn't mean your ex is the ONLY one for you.

 

I say you're not ready to contact her, because you're still holding her to impossible standards. I would only contact her if you are happy in your own life without her, and a rejection wouldn't put you at square one.

[Shake Spear]

Thats what we dumpees do. We place them on a pedestal and while we remember the good times and their good sides, we forget or ignore the bad times and their faults. Im not saying its easy, im at fault for doing the very same thing.

 

I remember i read a forum entry on another forum by some older Don Juan, who had been with and dated LOTS of girls/women.

 

What we young bucks often are guilty of are idolizing our women and exes, believing they are one in a million, but in truth, they are more like one in ten.

 

Anyways, that was pretty unrelated. If you think you can handle it, call her. You may get your heart broken, but if it was me, i rather know for certain and get some closure than to live on and think about "what might have been". Good luck