the first...

[goddess23]

my ex was my first everything. and its just tough for me to get over him...everytime i think of how close we were and how great things were, i just want to burst into tears. i know its not the end of the world its just i KNOW theres no one else in my school that i am or will be interested in. its kind of depressing, i miss liking someone, i miss what we had...i dont know what to do...i love him. and i know theres no one else at least in my environment right now that im going to like. its just i miss the excitement of just liking someone, not even dealing. im so ready for a relationship...and my ex just wasnt ready. basically im wondering...how do you get over your first...what was your first breakup like? does it get any easier? is there anything i can do to make it easier on myself? do i give up on love since i know that theres no one i will really like. dont get my hopes up and just wait until a new chapter of my life begins? i know its weird but any comments would really help me...im just feeling down.

[sasha505]

Time is the major healer of your first heartbreak.

 

Just try to avoid spending time around your ex, get him out of your mind as much as you can, spend time doing things with your friends and occupying your mind with things other than him.

Soon you'll realise that you're getting along just fine without him and all the feelings of loneliness and hopelessness you might be feeling in the immediate aftermath of the breakup will fade away.

[jchan]

when it comes to a breakup

you gotta get in touch with these ppl

1) YOU, because you are you, you are special, and if you're down, how can you put yourself back together? best advice is to get busy! start doing things you like, do some exercise!

2) Friends, these are the columns of strength that have supported you over the years in the outside world. you'll laugh, you'll cry, but most importantly, you do things together. that's what friends are for. and they're there to look for ya

3) Family, remember family is with you all the way, it's a lot easier to vent out by talking to your sibs, and your parents, sibs can be comforting, and parents can help out cuz with those extra years they've packed on, chances are they got some experience and some wise things to help ya out

[jchan]

when it comes to a breakup

you gotta get in touch with these ppl

1) YOU, because you are you, you are special, and if you're down, how can you put yourself back together? best advice is to get busy! start doing things you like, do some exercise!

2) Friends, these are the columns of strength that have supported you over the years in the outside world. you'll laugh, you'll cry, but most importantly, you do things together. that's what friends are for. and they're there to look for ya

3) Family, remember family is with you all the way, it's a lot easier to vent out by talking to your sibs, and your parents, sibs can be comforting, and parents can help out cuz with those extra years they've packed on, chances are they got some experience and some wise things to help ya out

[DBL]

It is really not the end of the world. I have thought that too after my first real relationship. I thought there would be nobody else that I could like that much or that would be suited for me. Eventually you will outgrow these feelings and meet someone new. Obvioulsy he is your first everything, so he will probably always be in your mind on that, but eventually it will not bother you like it does now.

 

DBL

[goddess23]

hey everyone thanks for the replies. the thing is, i know its not the end and i know i will meet someone later but whats depressing is probably not until university b/c the guy i was with was the only guy i liked in a LONG TIME. ive only liked 2 ppl in my life....and this guy was my first bf, first kiss, first dance! lol...there are so many memories...and most of the time im arite, but i find myself sometimes just bursting into tears in the privacy of my room...and i just cant stop. when we talk he always touches me and holds me like he knows im hurting. but thanks for all the advice...i guess the first can be the hardest sometimes. i would love to hear some stories about your firsts...and how you dealt with it, how you felt.

[ComputerGuy]

I went through the same thing with my ex at the beginning of this year....she was my first for EVERYTHING. She ended up doing something....lets just say unimaginably not nice........and we split. It was so hard and I was like you with the bursting into tears, etc. What was worse is we worked together and I had to see her everyday.....bursting into tears at work is not a good thing.

 

In the end, NC was what got me through....basically I didn't call, message, e-mail, give a message to a friend to pass on....nothing, I just completely cut contact. I even went one step further.....I quit my job, sold my car and left town. I'm not saying you should leave town....running away is not a good solution, trust me, I'm not saying I regret it but lets just say it hasnt been the easy fix to life I thought it would be.

 

I know it's hard, but NC is the best way to go about it.....the original idea of it was as a tactic to get ur ex back, but it is also perfect for getting over them completely.

 

Hope you feel better soon and if you wanted to talk, feel free to PM me

[DBL]

I was 17 when I got in my first meaningful relationship. We had a good first year. Then we fought a lot! To the point where I was expelled from school. Her mom sent her to another state. The school let me back in because she left. She came back a month later. She started seeing other guys, I did not know this...I suspected it, but everyone lied. Only one person told me the truth. I was devestated. I didn't know what to do. I even accidently recorded her making plans to drop me off early to be with another guy once. There were weeks where I would not get out of bed, days where I would not eat. I was down to like 100 lbs at one time.

 

Anyway she ended up dating another guy, him and his friends threatened me every day, they planned on jumping me and stabbing me up. It got to the point that my parents wanted to pull me out of school, I decided I was not going to run. Told my parents I am finishing school here. I decided why wait for someone to attack me. So I started going after them one by one. No small talk no pushing...straight to point, back turned or not. I wasn't a big guy, I needed whatever edge I can get and I was never going to get a fair fight. I would walk up to some and just punch the lockers next to their head and laugh at them. They all wanted to be my x's hero, but fewer and fewer wanted to step up. On occasion I would see my x flirting with a group of guys and go after all of them.

 

End result...I survived. I was eventually caught from behind in my driveway(most likely her x), never seen it coming. She also hit me with her car another time. I have two confirmations from two different people that she asked to kill me, she admitted she asked more years later.

 

Prior to this...I was a class clown. After I didn't have much of a sense of humor and my thought process changed dramatically. I was no longer known for being funny, but more for being violent. In the long run this reputation helped me out a bit. It earned me a lot of respect.

 

I did softened the story, I left out some of the details and incdents, because it is probably not suited for this site, and I don't want to encourage violence.

 

After Going through all that, things did eventually get better. So I understand what a lot of you have to go through. I was by myself through most of this. I am amazed of how well a lot of you handle your situation.

 

ComputerGuy...I have left town once because of a girl as well, but that is a whole other story.

 

DBL