Let me see a show of hands

[Shinobie]

I was just wondering how many have u have never had a relationship like who are over the age of 16?How many of u have never attracted a person of the opposite sex either?I just wanna see how many of u feel about as much of a loser as me i just wanted too see if u do being gfless/bfless.

[aireyc]

I have been on this earth for more than 16 years (close to 17) so I'm going to just tell you. Anyway, I've never had a true, loving relationship with anyone. I go to a guys-only school so I don't meet girls everyday, but when I was in coed I didn't really have any girlfriends. True, some liked me, but nothing ever happened. And dude, there are so many people on here in their 20s who haven't had a girlfriend, some never having a kiss. Don't feel like a loser, like me you're still young.

 

Chris

[7CardStud]

I can't say ive been in a true relationship, sure ive been on a date or 2... but thats bout it...

 

Anyways... Shinobie it seems like you may have some low confidence ? least when it comes down to women ? This is going to sound stupid, but I would suggest making it your top priority everday, to talk to girl in class, to talk to a girl whenever u can, then over time, it becomes clockwork... I think it just helps you understand girls/girls may become atracted to you...

 

I'm actually still doing this, and it helps your people skills.

 

Best of Luck

[ShyGuy444]

I'm also 16 and haven't had a true gf. But i have had girls be attracted to me, but they didnt tell me, or i didn't get the hint till it was to late, and i'm to afriad to ask a girl out.

 

About that comment that lots of people are in their 20's and never kissed, that's wrong. Maybe a few on this site, but that's not a lot, i'm starting to feel some pressure that i'm getting left behind, but i know why i am, cuz i'm scared of my lack of experience. But the people in their 20's that haven't had a kiss or gf are the people who hibernate and play on the computer all day or something, u gotta get out in the open and let girls see u to get some play, but i shouldn't say too much as i haven't taken advantage of this, but i don't sit at home all the time, i'm just too scared.....

[edgecrusher96]

I'm 21 and I've only had 2 relationships of duration 3 months max. I don't feel like a loser at all. In fact I feel more like a loser having gotten into said relationships, I'm quite content with my single status. You see, the problem is that we live in a society that celebrates coupledom everywhere you go: in advertising, movies, fairytales, music and even in our holidays. Like we have Valentine's Day but what about a day commemorating single people? I personally think this pressure from society to pair up with someone is lame, and it's a shame that everyone thinks that their calling in life is to be in a relationship and live happily ever after (how often does this actually happen?!). Coupledom is revered while singledom is associated with being unwanted, undesirable, unhappy etc. I don't buy into this pressure one bit, as I think romance is superficial and overrated and too many people fail to realize the positives of being single. You have much more freedom while single than at any other stage of your life, among many other things.

[Vert]

I was 23 when I had my first relationship and first love and first sexual "encounter" with a woman. Do not be dismayed by it shinobie as you are still a young guy and have many years ahead. This constant "why me" is getting out of hand dude. You are young and you already have an extremely negative outlook on women and life.

[ShyGuy444]

^^^ ya u might have more freedom, but don't u want to share your life with someone special, i know i do. I have witnessed both ends of the couple spectrum, the good and the bad, and i know it's not all good, but u have to make good decisions and just go with your heart and u will be fine

[wlfpack81]

Shinobe I feel your pain...

 

I'm 23, never had a g/f, date, romantic phone call or basically any kind of physical normal sexual/playful contact that most my age have had by now.

 

Always been to shy, not to mention ugly as well.

 

Only thing halfway keeping me going is my family life is good and at least my career is off to a good start. How many can say they got a job in their major of study less than 4 months after graduation. Only thing that sucks is this job made me move to the middle of the U.S. away from my family, friends and my university (I loved going to the fball, bball games). Eventually the lonliness is going to take it's final toll so we'll see how long it'll be before that day comes if you know what I mean.

[aireyc]

Just to prove it's not just my belief with older people and kissing, quite a few people from link removed had to wait a bit. But clearly from that, relationships come at all different times during your life. Enjoy the freedom!

 

Chris

[wlfpack81]

Freedom!!!?!?! It'd be a different story if I were enjoying the typical, stereotypical single male life of having different women BUT I'M NOT GETTING THAT. Being single isn't fun when you get no attention/have any kind of relations with women period. So don't use that freedom, enjoy the single life BS. I had enough of that. I don't want to be a damn old man getting married at 35 and having a teenage son when I'm 60 or something.

[Shinobie]

Iono mang i sort of agree with u wlfpack because i am tired of the single scene and i dont care about the freedom.I have too much freedom i dont know what to do with it.I go to school come home play computer games/do homework then go to bed.Or i do work when i have it or sometimes hang around with friends.I cannot enjoy the freedoms when it is a pretty dull life to live.I cannot enjoy it when i just watched someone get married and being so very happy.I mean i enjoy the fact that he is happy but i dont enjoy the fact that i have came home to the same dull lonely life that is mine.

[7CardStud]

I use to play comp games (Counter-Strike / Brood War) actually won over 1,000 dollars in tournies and what not, but then i realized... Wow, the odds of this taking me somewhere is very slim... So i quit comp games and hit the gym and joined the football team

 

Join a sport, or a club, or a intermural team... Get out and do something, or ur just slowing killing yourself sitting there and doing nothing

[ShyGuy444]

ya that single freedom is crap. I know people on this site haven't done the gf thing at 20 or older, but in the real world, it's not that common. I guess i worded it wrong, i don't feel pressure from society that i need a girl, i'm the one pressuring myself, because i feel that's whats missing in my life right now. Everyone has their own opinions.

 

Maybe u had a bad experience, but that shouldn't stop u from wanting to share your life with someone special. Those people didn't HAVE to wait, they chose to, in a sense, because they didn't take the risk and ask a girl out or something, i know i haven't, but i will soon, cuz i can't take it any longer. Soon my stubborness to want a girl to share my life with will overtake my shyness and being scared to confront my feelings for her.

[DBL]

You all are killing me here!

 

There is no such thing as being too ugly to have a girlfriend wlfpack. There are a lot of things you all can do to attract women to you. Money works well! Just kidding...but here in Florida...that can replace bad looks. Unfortunate for me i'm poor!

 

I have an x friend up north. He is one ugly !@#$%^&*. This dude had like 4 women in his 30 years. Now the dude makes like 80k and thinks he is like god. This new confidence he has because he makes more then all his friends, women find attractive. So his ugly --- crater face, his hideous laugh, and his whole geeky persona does not matter to some women. Of course he is not dating anyone I would spit on, but to each their own.

 

So you guys need to do some changes if you want to get with the program.

 

If you feel your looks need some changing, get some new clothes and a new haircut, maybe a new attitude will come with it. If that don't work...beat some people up, girls always flock to tough guys.

 

I want all you to ask a girl out this week. Start with a homely one to build your confidence, then work your way up.

 

If your a girl and need to attract guys...then there is something wrong with you. If your heavy..drop the weight and smile a lot and the guys will come. If your just ugly...you need mor e makeup.

 

Be Cool

DBL

[mr sad]

svenman is right dude. u gotta do something independent. doing something u enjoy will make u happy, if its something like working out then it will make u happy and make u feel better about urself

(cos i was the same, mr hermit turns gym man)

 

who would u rather talk to. a person who is outgoing and happy with themselves or a quiet little goth with no interest in life?

(that was me by the way)

 

u have nothing to worry about. u arent a loser, ur 16 ffs! thats like heaps young u have years ahead of u. im almost 20 and i only ever held a girls hand for the first time last yr, never had a relationship and never been kissed.

 

stop being a whiny little b//ch and do something about it. dont worry about whether other people are getting more then u. make it happen

 

MAKE YOURSELF

[cassandra]

I'm 21 and have never been in a relationship or been kissed before. I've been asked out, had guys flirt with me. I'm even told that I'm pretty but I don't feel it. And if someone gives me a compliment I'll run a mile. Scared of getting hurt I guess.

Maybe your just looking in the wrong places or you haven't found the right girl yet. You shouldn't feel like a loser.

 

*cassandra*

[Shinobie]

Nah the reason i feel like a loser is the fact that it looks like i havent attracted one girl in my life.But o well the only thing i wanted to see is how many people have not had a relationship either like me too see how many truly there are.

[DBL]

Do you even try to talk to girls?

 

DBL

[Shinobie]

i Have been trying to get the gumption to talk to a girl like this one in my german class who i am really attracted too.I have been smiling at her a lot and trying to make eye contact plenty of times.We kind of met with eye contact for a long period of time sort of when she was going to look at the clock for like 3 seconds.Iono maybe just show her that i am interested.She seems like areally nervous girl who is constantly observing whats going on and she walks to classes alone although she is very pretty in my eyes.So maybe if i talk to her i can maybe walk her to a class overtime and talk alot.Although im having such a hard time even syaing one thing to her since i am so shy.

[DBL]

I had a friend that was the same way. I remember him telling me about this girl in school he really liked. My suggestion to him as well as to you is just go talk to her, if it does not go well, it is not the end of the world. If you really think about, what do you have to lose? You are already shy, so if she doesn't want to talk to you, you just go back to being shy til the next opportunity arises.

 

So go ask her what she is doing for the weekend and stuff. Let us know how it goes. Dont chickent out!

 

Conclusion to my friends story, he came back the following day and thanked me, she went out with him for about 2 years after that. Worked out well for me because I ended up dating one of her friends. It is great when ones advice works great on more then one level.

 

DBL

[SecondChance]

I had my first sexual experience (not sex) at 20 and my first "real" relationship at 22.

To all you guys, esp. the ones who like the "shy, reserved, intellectual" types - there seem to be a lot of you on these posts -

I was one of those shy, reserved types (even more so than what you all have to deal with) - and in addition, CLUELESS! I was very easily intimidated by guys, no eye contact, no smiles, nothing - I wouldn't have known a guy trying to strike up a conversation with me if he had hit me over the head with a baseball bat -

All that to say is, if you don't get the "signs" from a shy girl the first time, DON'T take it personally and give up. Be gentle and persistent, because she MAY not understand what the hell you're trying to do, and it may take awhile before she does.

I really feel for you guys, being the ones who have to "make the first move" - it's really scary, to put yourselves out there for rejection...

And screw the whole UGLY thing - you're not NOT "getting" girls because you're "ugly," it's because you're shy and anxious, just like I was shy and anxious, nothing wrong with that. Try seeing girls as friends and making friends with one or two girls first, girls whose personalities you really like. Don't worry about the romantic angle. I know it seems like the whole world is doing it, but they're not. Many people don't find someone they truly connect with until they're in their 20s, and they actually have the patience to wait it out.

[Shinobie]

Dont worry secondchance there are plenty like us only some are more stupid kind of like me

[ComputerGuy]

Im with Shinobie....however I'm slowly overcoming mine. I' m not so shy around good mates so I'm slowly transfering that over to my normal life.

 

My first ANYTHING girl related was at the beginning of this year....first kiss, first sexual experience first time I even held hands with a girl......but that went kinda down hill in a big way. When I was 17 I was in the EXACT same position as you Shinobie, so you got 2 years before you're as lame as me

 

On another account, my entire highschool life I never thought any girl paid any attention to me at all, and have since found out otherwise. Looking back, I think I got a lot more attention than I noticed at the time because I was too shy and dumb to realise I was getting it.

 

Basically dude.....don't stress, it WILL happe...good luck