Cannot get over what he did? Causing trust issues!!!

[Saures]

My boyfriend and I generally have a good relationship, but everyone does something wrong...

 

My boyfriend told me that he wouldn't go out drinking anymore and that it didn't interest him, and he even promised this all on his own terms, and we're the kind of people who say "if you don't mean it, don't promise it", and this is why this promise was taken so seriously.

 

A few weeks later, his army friend comes back from camp, and asks to go for a drink out... He asks me if he can go out for just one drink, I told him that last week I had asked to go out and have a drink with my friends round her house and he said no... and I don't think it's fair that you make a promise not to do it, don't want me to do it, but then ask to do it anyway... so of course, I said I cannot stop you doing anything, but I would prefer you not to...

He starts becoming off with me, being grumpy, angry, upset.

 

So we fall out, argue, and he says he's going out anyway.

So he went out, told me he would be back 11:30.

I don't know when he got back that night.

 

I suffer with depression and in tough situations, I will use self-harm as a method to release stress (I am getting help for this).

I did hurt myself to the point my arm was bruised and swollen (this is quite rare for me as I never bruise or hurt myself to that extreme).

He didn't know this, nor did I tell him this until everything came out into the open.

 

The next day my boyfriend came round, told me he only had one drink, that he was home before 12.

I can tell when he is lying, and I asked again, when did you come home, he said "1".

At first, I believed him, but I asked if I could look at his texts, and he said yes, although he was a bit reluctant.

I saw messages from his friends, asking to meet him to go to tescos, and a text from his elder brother at 4am saying "feeling fragile" and he replied at 4 saying yes.

 

As it turns out, he went to a shop to buy vodka, and started drinking at around 6, he then went out and had a few ciders and some desperados, he then went to a house party until 4 am.

 

 

We're the kind of couple that think, this kind of behaviour isn't right in a relationship unless you're in a controlled environment (i.e a few drinks round a mates house or a family party or something along those lines). And I understand a lot of people would think that that kind of behaviour is controlling and not healthy, but it's just how we are and thats something we've agreed on.

 

Its been two months since this happened, and I cannot get over what he did.

To a lot of people, I'm over reacting or being controlling, but I spoke to him, and he told me if I had done that to him, he would most likely of ended it and admitted that I'm the stronger one out of us.

 

I just need to get over it so I can move on with my life.

 

I'd appreciate some advice, and I have feeling a lot of people will say that I am over reacting, but I am just looking for some advice to get my trust back so I can say "yes, you can go out for some drinks with your friends" because I don't want to be the girlfriend that hasn't got the confidence or trust in herself and her boyfriend to let him go out.

 

I appreciate all posts

[SapphireNoir10]

Either forgive him for one mistake or break up with him because you can't trust him.