:( please help me

[murrman]

Here's my situation. My girlfriend goes to school about an hour away from me and she goes home for all of her vacations which is in another state so I am not able to go there. She never has time for me and this really bothers me a lot, I haven't seen her for 3 months. I love my girlfriend with all of my heart and she is the most important person to me, which is why this hurts so much. It's really affecting my schoolwork, I am failing my classes and I am terribly depressed because this is stressing me out so much. When I ask her when I will see her she cant give me a straight answer and she gets mad at me and has broken up with me before because I've gotten so mad about it with her. After she breaks up though she calls me crying saying she didnt mean it. How can I let her know that I cannot continue to be with her if this continues, for my own healths sake, without making her think that I dont care or love her? What should I say to her without making her mad? I told her one time that if we dont see eachother i dont know how I could continue being in the relationship and she got totally pissed at me and broke up with me temporarily, then called and apologized. This girl really loves me and we talk of marriage and children often. How do I let her know in the most sensitive, loving way as possible that if things dont change I can't be in the relationship because its doing more harm to me than good?

[ForAnother]

I had the same problem. I just simply told her that I couldn't keep going on with it. I said that I am looking after the relationship, and at the same time I need to look out after myself. And right at the moment you are needing your own mind to complete your studies. That is all you need to say.

 

ForAnother

[JynX]

I'm afraid there's no easy or gentle way to say that. Is it possible for you to drive over and see her, since its only an hour apart? If it is, I'd say talk to her about this in person and be honest. She will get mad, yes, but you have a right to tell her how you feel and a right to be happy. She needs to see that. Maybe after you talk to her in person and she cant just hang up to avoid the subject, there will be some improvement. And you may find that she's having the same thoughts, but just didnt bring them up. Just remember, whatever happens, happens.

 

JyNx

[Meow18]

If she doesn't care to make time for you & doesn't plan any times to see you, then she doesn't really deserve you. Its unfair to you to be waiting around for her to make time for you & you haven't seen her in 3 months. I would think that she would be dying to see you & try to make time for it.

 

You need to tell her that it kills you to not she her & it really bothers you. Its not right to go for 3 months without seeing her, if she's only an hour away. If she's too busy where she can't see you more than that, then she's too busy for a relationship. Relationships take effort & if she's not making the effort to come see you, then she's not putting much into the relationship.

 

I guess you should talk to her about it all & if she still doesn't make time for you, then you need to tell her that she's not right for you at this time. You need someone who makes you feel important & it seems like right now thats not happening.

 

My boyfriend goes to school an hour away too, and we are also both in school, so we can't really see each other as much as we would like. We do however, visit each other every weekend. We make time for each other on the weekends. It would be different if he was 3 hours away or something, then we couldn't see each other that much, but an hour is not that bad at all.

 

Is there any way you could go out & see her every once in awhile? She is only an hour away, so you could just drive out & take her out to dinner or something on the weekends.