How can someone THINK they're falling in love with someone else, but be wrong???

[sandrawg]

Ugh, I saw my ex this weekend. He came to a party me and my housemate threw for a mutual friend. He was flirting with me mercilessly, putting his arm around me, etc.

 

When I pulled him aside to ask why he was doing this, he said he was being friendly and that I shouldnt get any ideas because he doesn't want a relationship, with anyone. He's been a hermit for the 4 months we've been apart.

 

We had a long conversation and I asked him, why did he tell me, a couple of times, during our relationship that he was falling in love with me?

 

He said " i thought I was."

 

How is this possible? I don't understand! How can you THINK you're falling in love with someone, but then decide no, you weren't? I can't even imagine...I've never dealt with this kind of thing before.

[OneSadPuppy]

People can mistake many things for love.

Lust, infatuation, boost to self image, relief ...

The list is long.

 

Consider he may have been falling in love with you.

You two broke up, he studied game, then came back smarter.

It certainly got you emotional.

 

Just a thought ....

 

OSP

[RFB]

Lots of people mistake lust, desire, comfort, security and a host of other things for love. It happens.

He may not be a bad guy. He may have sincerely thought he was but then had a change of heart as reality set in. Best to move on from him though as he sounds very confused about life.

[sandrawg]

? Sorry, I'm not sure what this means.

 

You two broke up, he studied game, then came back smarter.

[rosie smith]

just wanted to say that love takes years to grow. It is not just a feeling that happens within a short space of time. So if you and your ex were only together for a short amount of time it is very possible that he confused feelings of lust, for feelings of love.

[sandrawg]

Yeah, I feel like he didn't give us a chance, but..I can't do anything about that.

 

I was just confused about his flirtatiousness...putting his arm around me while we were standing around, talking to people. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't pulled him aside to talk..

 

I agree with what OSP has to say but just wanted to add that love takes years to grow. It is not just a feeling that happens within a short space of time.

[sandrawg]

I think I kinda get what you're saying, but..he's the one who broke up with me.

 

I was totally HIS. No need to study game..

 

People can mistake many things for love.

Lust, infatuation, boost to self image, relief ...

The list is long.

 

Consider he may have been falling in love with you.

You two broke up, he studied game, then came back smarter.

It certainly got you emotional.

 

Just a thought ....

 

OSP

[OneSadPuppy]

I think I kinda get what you're saying, but..he's the one who broke up with me.

 

I was totally HIS. No need to study game..

 

Ah, I apologize, I didn't read your original story.

Just assumed (I a answered from work ).

 

I'm not sure what to think then, might have just been looking for casual.

Pretty awful if that what is was.

 

OSP

[sandrawg]

NO problem! I didn't expect everyone to remember or know the whole story

 

Yeah..I think he was just looking for sex. I don't think he'd been with anyone since our breakup.

 

Ah, I apologize, I didn't read your original story.

Just assumed (I a answered from work ).

 

I'm not sure what to think then, might have just been looking for casual.

Pretty awful if that what is was.

 

OSP