Mr Mister1 Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 Yes folks I'm back seeking more advice. The girl who I am sort of with (that is we do all the things "couples" would do but she for some reason doesn't seem to think we are a couple) has been going though a mix of anerixia and bulima. She studies here but lives in a different city, while she was here she had a bad habbit of skipping meals, she's gone back home over the sping break and has now started vomiting her food. She's really thin as it is but still feels the need to lose weight/avoid being thin and me telling her she's perfect the way she is doesn't change anything Link to comment
Tinkerbell Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 You haven't really said what it is you're asking, but I'm guessing you'd like to know how you can help her deal with the situation. The truth is, there isn't much you can do. I suffered from anorexia nervosa a few years ago, and was even hospitalised for 2 months because of it. That year was a complete hell for me, and I barely remember it at all, mostly because I don't want to remember; the pain that the memories bring is almost too hard to bare. The only thing you can really do is make sure she gets adequate medical attention. No matter how angry she might be with you for bringing her to the doctor, she'll thank you one day. If her case is severe, it just may be the difference between life and death. I wish the both of you all the best, ~Tink xxx Link to comment
Mr Mister1 Posted September 30, 2004 Author Share Posted September 30, 2004 Opps sorry, guess I forgot to ask the question but yeah I was wondering what I could do about it. I've told her that I'm really worried about her but she always responds with "I'm fine" I'll try get her to see a Doctor but I have a feeling she'll not only refuse but possibly stop seeing me altogether. Link to comment
Tinkerbell Posted October 1, 2004 Share Posted October 1, 2004 Right now isn't the time to worry about whether or not she'll stop seeing you, you've just got to get her to a doctor as soon as possible, even if that means you have to drag her there. Around how much weight has she lost, more than 15% of her ideal body weight? Link to comment
Mr Mister1 Posted October 1, 2004 Author Share Posted October 1, 2004 Sorry I worded it badly, when I say she'll stop seeing me I mean cease contact and avoid me altogether. I.e. refusing to meet up, not answering the phone or responding to messages, that sort of thing. Link to comment
Scout Posted October 1, 2004 Share Posted October 1, 2004 She needs an intervention, for sure. Tinkerbell, do you think he should contact her family and have them meet with him at her apartment or something and tell her they are concerned and want her to go to a doctor? Link to comment
Tinkerbell Posted October 1, 2004 Share Posted October 1, 2004 That's a good idea. He's got to do whatever he can to make sure that she gets help before it's too late, and if her family isn't being supportive he has to trick her into going to the doctor somehow. Link to comment
Mr Mister1 Posted October 1, 2004 Author Share Posted October 1, 2004 Hmm trick her you say? I'm listening. You can see the problem I'd have in simply telling her to see a doctor can't you, even if she was just a friend I'd be nervous about telling her what to do, because if she cut all contact then I'd have extreme trouble helping her at all. Hense why I'm a bit cautious. Link to comment
Sexychiick16 Posted October 1, 2004 Share Posted October 1, 2004 the manly thing to do would be to tell her parents get them concerned with it...U cant really do anything about this because i kinda went through that and THANK GOD it was just a phase in my life...my bestfriend threatened to beat the livings Out of me if i didnt stop/....So i stopped lol But all u can do is Tell her You love her and that u dont want nething happeneding to her or her beautiful body.. U just need to be a friend ya know?? Link to comment
Mr Mister1 Posted October 1, 2004 Author Share Posted October 1, 2004 Thanks for the advice everyone, hmm it'll be weird talking to her parents given that I've never spoke to them before and I have a strong feeling they don't even know I exist. She's kept me at a distance. Link to comment
Mr Mister1 Posted October 1, 2004 Author Share Posted October 1, 2004 my bestfriend threatened to beat the livings Out of me if i didnt stop/....So i stopped lol b] does that sort of thing work? like say if I told her I wouldn't see her or do anything for her unless she stoped? Couldn't it make matters worse? Link to comment
Tinkerbell Posted October 1, 2004 Share Posted October 1, 2004 Yes, it could make matters worse, I wouldn't suggest that. I say your best bet is with the parents, or go see a doctor yourself and tell them your concerns and arrange for an appointement, than maybe you'll be able to trick her into going somehow by asking her to go along with you to visit a friend at the hospital or something. Link to comment
chai714 Posted October 1, 2004 Share Posted October 1, 2004 If you're not comfortable talking to her parents, I'm sure you could obtain their address and write an anonymous letter. . .just letting them know that you care about her like they do and all you want is for her to be safe and healthy. You can only do so much in your position, and like many people said here, her only hope is to get some professional help. If you care enough about her as a human, then it should be no concern of yours whether or not she talks to you after you refer her to help. It's not about you or your relationship with her right now, it's about her well being, and right now, her life is on the line. Which is more important, her life, or your relationship with her? Link to comment
Mr Mister1 Posted October 1, 2004 Author Share Posted October 1, 2004 Again I think people misunderstood me, I'm not talking about whether she'd talk to me after she got help, I'm saying I'm worried that if I told her she needed help she's stop talking to me and write off what I said compleatly and thus not get any help, the relationship issue doesn't come into it. Link to comment
i_hate_the_world47 Posted October 1, 2004 Share Posted October 1, 2004 Well,i agree with the other posters.You should speak to this girls parents.Anorexia and bulimia are very dangerous and you have to make sure you help her before its to late.I hope all goes well.Good luck. ~meagan~ Link to comment
Sexychiick16 Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 Hey when i said My friend threatened to beat the living daylights out of me...This was when i was in like about 7th grade or something...I wasn't fat I just had that thought then i guess...But it did work in my case because i wasnt as serious as Your girl (probley) Maybe Im just a dork...But im better now... The no talking to you Do you mean that she would kind of block off the subject of her disability all together or do you mean she would just get mad and close you about altogether...A lil Bluriness there to me... What you need to do as a friend Is to Tell her you are concerned with her eating and Bulimia right afterwards and You truly care about her...All you can do really is tell lher how much it hurts you to see her hurt herself...Making a threat like "i wont be a part of your life if you decide to put yourself through belimia" All i can really sugest is to tALK to someone in her family thats close to her and concered about her...I would reccomend her own mother..And just put her at ease with a quick call like..."You dont know me but I am your daughters "good friend" and i feel as if there is a serious eating disorder with her...I just wanted to put u in aawareness" Something like that...Im sure her mother will do the motherly thing and seek any kind of help in possibility for her daughter to get better...! i hope I helped u some...!! GOOD LUCK Link to comment
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