sabotaging relationship

[SmintyMinty]

I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 5 months and we are great together. The problem is that even when things are going great I always try to find a way out and break up with him. It's pretty stupid as the reasons are always really petty. He's kind, loving, generous, patient and I love him and he loves me but at the same time something in me just wants to break away and its not something I'm conscious of doing. It just happens! It's like I'll find any excuse to pick a fight with him and there are times I'll just cry as I want to be out of the relationship as I feel scared. Not sure what I'm scared about! Maybe I'm afraid that it will all go wrong or he'll leave me for some other girl and it's going so good right now! My boyfriend is really patient with me when I go through those moments with him and he keeps saying that he always feels as if he's one talk away from me finishing with him. I don't understand why I keep trying (at least a few times every month we've been together) to break up with him and I have no good reason too.

 

so why do I keep sabotaging the relationship? I've done this before in previous relationships even when the guy was in love with me and I refused to believe it. I really think my boyfriend is special and I love him more than anyone else before him but I can see that I'm repeating my destructive behaviour pattern in this relationship. I can see how it hurts my boyfriend and I hate myself for it. Can anyone give me any advice on how to handle this? I feel like such a freak... thanks everyone!

[Ph3n0m3n0n]

Hi..

 

Basically Im new to relationships really, because I honestly havn't had a proper relationship, I'll probably post about it later on.

 

But honestly... Please, Do NOT think your a freak, I think I know where your coming from.

 

Do you get jeleous when he is around another chick? Or if he is talking to another chick?

 

If so.... Basically, think about it this way, A Guy/Girl can NOT go out with someone and just... NOT talk to someone of the opposite sex, just because they do, does not mean that they like them more than you, or that they might have a thing for them

 

If thats the reason, do NOT stress its all good, I can tell from what yours saying that he really does like you, I mean common... How many guys now-a-days are patient when a chicks crying or upset about them or something petty? NOT many.. I am... Im sure most guys on these forums are patient, but thats only a handful compaired to the rest of the male popultaion in the world. He cares for you, he loves you.... Im sure you have NOTHING to worry about with him not liking you for any reason.

 

If its not the reason, Im not quite sure, do you do it because you like to fight?

 

Now, you dont have to reply to this one if you seem embarissed(sp?)...

but, think about this HONESTLY, do you see yourself as an attention seeker? I mean, are you doing this to your boyfriend and previous relationships because you could be an attention seeker? ( and in all honest respect im not saying you are, just trying to help you )

 

Maybe you like other people to see your suffering and want them to comfort you and be around you, talk to you?

 

If thats the reason, You dont need to do that, thats what your boyfriend is there for, he will comfort you, talk to you, It sounds like he does as it is

 

Thats all I can think of at the moment, I hope I've helped

 

Good luck