When the dumper is a guy...

[CantGetOverHim]

Long story short (as I've posted once before): I was with my ex-bf for 7 years until he broke up with me 2 months ago and I am devastated. I moved to where he was for a job relocation and didn't handle the move (no friends, no job, etc) well, so I came home - assuming we would still be together. He broke up with me and now we are 3000 miles apart, so I am at a disadvantage.

 

Anyhow, I am a huge over-analyzer (which I know does me no good) and I'm curious to see if the guy who is the dumper puts any thought into how many times/when he calls the ex-gf? My ex has insisted we continue to be friends (which I'm trying to do) and he used to call about once a week and then the calls got more frequent and then last week he called two days in a row(which surprised me). Now, I have not received a call in 10 days and he is home in this state this weekend. Am I looking into this way too much or what? I guess I'm just looking for any little sign which I know is a definite waste of my time, but I can't change who I am. Does the dumper even think about his/her actions? How can someone you've been with for 7 years not even want to talk to you anymore? It blows my mind.

 

I am getting sadder by the day as I feel as if all hope is gone.

[Openminded]

I know you dont want to hear this, but its easier to do no contact than it is to actually speak to you. Emotions just keep coming back if you continue to leave that door open. I learned my lesson from my first real relationship. Both sides have ulterior (sp) motives, and although you may want to have that person as a friend it rarely works. Every phone call with my first ex ended with a fight...that eventually led to never speakingn to her again. My second, just wanted to brag about how good her life is. How happy she is. Yeah yeah yeah....enough with that so i said dont call anymore.

I know its best to just not communicate, and when the time is right start a friendship again. Otherwise, every time we talk its just going to be a fight...which it practically is now. I dont tell her anything about what im doing, or how my life is going. Which im sure irks her to no end, but at the same time I am sure she would be pissed if i pulled what shes doing. I think shes trying to prove to herself that her actions were justified.

[CantGetOverHim]

Well, it turns out that his cell phone was broken (and for what it's worth I do believe him) because he just called me after he woke up this morning.

 

The thing about us is that when we do talk on the phone we don't fight at all (of course we never really fought during the relationship, either). We had a 45 minute conversation this morning and of course I didn't want to hang up and it may be in my head but he wasn't in a rush to hang up either. Yet, he's only home until tomorrow and he did not make time to see me, so I'm totally confused or just looking too deeply.

 

We were also asking each other if the other person has met anyone. He said "no" and I jokingly said "yeah, 3 people". I told him I was joking, but he didn't believe me and insisted I tell him who I was dating. I almost sense some apprehension in his voice, yet he seemingly wants only to be my friend. What is the deal? Why does he want to know if/who I'm seeing when he dumped me?

 

And, for us to ever be together again would require me to move back to where his is. I've told him I would do it in a heartbeat, but I don't know that he believes me and he doesn't want to go through it again. Will he ever trust me again and take me back?