Have you fallen in love with a teacher before?

[drahcir]

Last night I watched the interview with Mary Kay Letourneau on 20 / 20 and she talked about how she started a romantic and sexual relationship with her 13 year old student when she was 32 or so. I thought that was really really sick. I could never imagine falling in love with one of my school teachers. But has anyone here fallen in love with a school teacher before? What makes such attractions possible?

[amp1345]

i saw that too, it was pretty sickening to hear her talk about them kissing. But I've never been in a situation like that..although I did have a huge crush on a professor in a college class. I think that it's different to fantasize and actually getting involved in a situation like that!

[drahcir]

i am sure that daydreaming about a crush on a teacher is okay....but doing it YUCK!!!

[tiffany82]

Somebody that's 32 can't have a relationship with a 13 year old, it's not that it's yuk but the age difference and the boy was only 13. Is that legal in the States??

[shes2smart]

Is that legal in the States??

 

No, it's not. She went to prison for it.

 

Crushes on high school teachers? No. Crushes on college professors? Yuppers.

 

Never did anything about it other than take any and every class he taught. Mostly he taught political philosophy classes. My major was broadcast communications. He didn't start looking at me REALLY funny til I popped up in his Medical Ethics class with all these pre-med and nursing students who HAD to be there.

 

Friends didn't understand what I saw in him...but it wasn't anything you could see. The guy made me THINK...he made me use my brain and that "brain-stretching" feeling was/is highly attractive to me.

[larajenkins4]

yeah, i have, i currently am. but its different to that, its not sick.

[Amethyst]

There's a big difference between crushing and actually taking action. Furthermore, there's a big difference between having a relationship with a jr. high / high school teacher and a college professor. By the time you are in college, you are an adult. When two adults are involved, I don't see an age difference as a real problem.

 

But, in M.K.L.'s story, they were NOT both adults. A 13-year-old is still a kid -- not just legally, but emotionally, physically, and intellectually. (Sorry, because I know those of you that age don't want to hear that, but it's true.) Anytime an adult has a sexual relationship with a child, THAT is disgusting.

[lickthelightbulb]

i have a silly schoolgirl crush on my english teacher right now...he's just sooooo hot and funny and sweet... i know nothing could/would ever happen because he isn't sad enough to want to go out with a 15 year old girl...but oh well, one can dream...if only he were 15 or i were...umm late 20's early 30's... there's just something about guys who know their poetry and shakespeare that just, well 'turns me on' i guess you could say. i've been trying a heck of a lot harder in english since he's been my teacher lol, i am aiming to be his little A* student (i am currently a B/A/A* student). he has one of those quite posh well brought up voices which i also like! (i also don't think he's married yet, but i've seen the way he flirts with the other female english teacher-damn her ! i don't think that there is anything wrong with age gap relationships so long as you're both adults and are serious enough to work at it...

[drahcir]

Lickthelightbulb,

 

Do you think that guys of any age could impress girls by learning poetry or shakespear?? JUst wondering...

[Amethyst]

Do you think that guys of any age could impress girls by learning poetry or shakespear?? JUst wondering...

 

I know this wasn't addressed to me, but I just have to drop in my two cents.

 

Different girls are impressed by different things. The above poster may be impressed by poetry while another girl is impressed by a guy who can bench press 200 pounds.

 

Instead of worrying about changing yourself to try to impress a girl, be yourself. There will be girls out there who are impressed with you just because you're you; and, the ones who aren't...well, they aren't worth your time.

[ComputerGuy]

There was a student teacher at my High School when I was doing Year 12....she would only have been about 4 or 5 years older than me absolute MAX. I had the biggest crush on her.......got over it though and we ended up being quite good friends (kinda strange but it worked)

[kamitwi]

I think the brain stretching effect of professors can be a sort of aphrodisiac. I am currently chasing my professor through all of the classes that he teaches. Anyone have any ideas on the ethics of the situation? Where I attend school there's a secret underground of grad students seeing their professors--I always used to be confidently disdainful...but now I understand. If he was interested I'd go out with him in a heartbeat--what does everyone else have to say about the ethics of this? (For people who are MUCH older than the kid we started out talking about!)

[drahcir]

I have never found any of my professors attractive...most of them are old (ie. 55+) and thats not my type of thing. Though i do have on TA and she is 28 or so and she is still really really cute. But she is married.....and too old for me......and its wrong to date your teacher....it really is!!!!! Most TA's or professors would lose thier job if they had a relationship with a student, so its completely out of question. Don't even try it.

 

 

"I think the brain stretching effect of professors can be a sort of aphrodisiac. I am currently chasing my professor through all of the classes that he teaches. Anyone have any ideas on the ethics of the situation? Where I attend school there's a secret underground of grad students seeing their professors--I always used to be confidently disdainful...but now I understand. If he was interested I'd go out with him in a heartbeat--what does everyone else have to say about the ethics of this? (For people who are MUCH older than the kid we started out talking about!)"

[kamitwi]

I know the problems associated with it--but I'm 23 and I'm in graduate school--do you really think that it's so unethical? He's 40 and unmarried as far as I know. I don't know, perhaps you're right. Not so easy to see it though ^_^*

[drahcir]

if you are doing your masters, i guess that does put you on the same level as your professor. Just be careful.

[dancergirl87]

ok when the student is 13 and the teacher is 32 its just so totally wrong. and to answer your question about falling for a teacher, i can honestly tell you that i'm one of the hottest girls at my school and the reason that i'm not dating anyone nor do i want to is because i have a huge crush on my old chem teacher. he's 26 years old and is the sweetest guy ever. we have this relationship thats closer than how a student and teacher relationship is thought to be. its kind of flirting but keeping a distance at the same time. i think that the reason that i'm attracted to him rather than anyone else is because when you're surrounded by 17 yr old boys all day its so relaxing to be around someone who's mature, smart and doesnt think about sex ever 6 secs.

[dancergirl87]

i honestly dont think theres any problem with you falling for your professor. i'm the same way with my former chem. teacher who's 26. its not that strange to be attracted to someone who's smart and well respected.

[dancergirl87]

thats so cute! its like the movie Never Been Kissed.. and yes there is def. something about a man who knows his shakespeare.. but i dont think that guys any age can impress a girl by learning poetry. some of them can just sound fake or make them look stupid.

 

Lickthelightbulb,

 

Do you think that guys of any age could impress girls by learning poetry or shakespear?? JUst wondering...

[Amethyst]

Okay, there's a HUGE difference in a high-schooler (minor) dating a high school teacher (adult) and a college student (adult) dating a professor (adult).

 

You're 23-years-old. You are an adult and are old enough that the two of you would be at nearly the same point in life. (You should both have some kind of career...have a good idea of what you want to do in life...etc..) I see nothing wrong with your dating him IF he is NO LONGER your professor. (Dating while you're in his class brings up MAJOR ethical problems dealing with grades and the like.) If you are no longer taking his courses, however, then I see nothing unethical about it.

[drahcir]

I never said i had romantic feelings for my TA. I don't even like her. SHe is just really really cute though. But that doesn't mean I like her. Also she is married and like 7 years older than me, so its completely out of question

[Amethyst]

Drahcir, my reply was meant for kamitwi and was not meant to address your situation. I tried to make that clear by putting specifics (i.e. her age) into my answer.

 

At the time I started my post, her situation was the last one addressed in the thread. Sorry for the confusion.

[lickthelightbulb]

well i guess like someone said, girls are impressed by diff things, i just happen to like guys who are gentlemanly and romantic, i'm not really one for 'bad boys' although i think johnny depp is hot

 

ahh...my english teacher...he acts really bashful around girls and goes red, like one time when another teacher came in, she smiled at him and he went BRIGHT red lol...aww...he acts sooo bashful when girls talk to him, even when they ask him a question or answer one of his questions lol, i find it really sweet and it makes me crush on him more

i wish i could put him in my pocket lol

[dancergirl87]

well i guess like someone said, girls are impressed by diff things, i just happen to like guys who are gentlemanly and romantic, i'm not really one for 'bad boys' although i think johnny depp is hot

 

ahh...my english teacher...he acts really bashful around girls and goes red, like one time when another teacher came in, she smiled at him and he went BRIGHT red lol...aww...he acts sooo bashful when girls talk to him, even when they ask him a question or answer one of his questions lol, i find it really sweet and it makes me crush on him more

i wish i could put him in my pocket lol

 

thats so cute!

[Rilas]

I got involved w/a former teacher not too long ago. After I had left his class, we decided to stay in contact. I know it sounds really weird, but we became friends. Eventually it became more of a romantic relationship. A love affair. There was no sex, and he always said he had to much respect for me for that. Well, eventually my mother found out, and said we could not speak anymore. She knew him pretty well, and wanted to keep him out of legal trouble because she knew he wasn't just some pediphile trying to get in my pants and that there were geniune feelings there. She even let my younger sister continue to be in his class. Her one mistake was telling my aunt, a lawyer, about the situation. She decided that it would be up to her to get the police involved. Eventually he lost his job, but that was it. Basically because him and I didn't go past kissing. I know there will be plenty of people out there who think this is absolutely sick and wrong. Everyone at my school found out after he got pulled out of class and never came back, and I got questioned by the police, so I've gotten plenty of comments there. Good and bad.

[drahcir]

Rilas, even if there is no sexual activity or no sexual motive, it is still wrong. The teacher is someone in authority, and has power over thier student. They should not do anything to abuse that power, even if it feels romantic. Also, they should be better educated and know better to get involved with a student in any way.